


A Change In Us...

by CharlieFrown



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Needs a Hug, Deceit Sanders - Freeform, Everyone Needs A Hug, Hurt Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Hurt Morality | Patton Sanders, Hurt/Comfort, I'll update the tags as I go, Insecurity, LAMP-Sanders Sides, M/M, Morality | Patton Sanders Needs a Hug, Past Car Accident, Past-Trauma References, Past-trauma, Protective Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Protective Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Protective Logic | Logan Sanders, Protective Morality | Patton Sanders, The fourth are clueless seriously, Valerie and Remy know it all
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-13
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:07:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 28,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23132185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharlieFrown/pseuds/CharlieFrown
Summary: It was a scrap of paper, folded in four. It was from a notebook, Patton could tell from the little dark blue lines horizontally drawn on it. The texture was smooth, like it was kept between two pages for a long time but properly preserved there. One edge was a little torn but that was the only apparent casualty.Intrigued by its content -maybe some doodles?- Patton, a malicious smile on his face, unfold it.Nothing made sense for a few terribly horrendous long seconds.And then...Patton discovered some shaking information about Virgil. That could change everything for the four boys living together. Having no idea what to do about it, he tried to hide his turmoil and started distancing himself from the others.But with three worried and stubborn roommates? Not a chance.*****First story in English, sorry about possible grammar or spelling mistakes ^^'This is only a part of the story (if I have the courage to keep writing it ^^').Mentions of future poly. But it's discreet in this one. However, don't like, don't read.Enjoy ! :D
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil & Creativity | Roman & Logic | Logan & Morality | Patton, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 48
Kudos: 146





	1. Everything Is Finy Fine! (Isn't It?)

Living with a roommate can be difficult. Living with three roommates can be hard to deal with. But living with three roommates as different from you as the sun from the moon is an entirely new level of difficult. Patton, Roman, Logan and Virgil were like night and day. And that was in a good day.

Yet, everything went out okay. Sure, there were days where flat-sharing was a bit...tough. There were times Roman would sing so loudly that Logan would have to remind him about the Noise By-law late in the evening. Patton was touchy feely with all of them while Virgil showed cautiousness in every social interaction. Things were complex at first but, at last, they worked it all through and were getting along pretty well. Each of them, mindful of the others and respectful of their singularity.

As the months passed, they tried to turn their own antics down a little... Or get used to the others’. Maybe both. They didn’t really know. The important thing was that everything was going more or less smoothly.

Meeting in high school surely helped a lot. Especially when Patton was so friendly and so determined to love them like only he could. In a very...Patton way. They’d never stand a chance. And despite the reluctance, mostly from Virgil to be so close with another human being, the four boys learned to know more and more details about their friends. Logan’s interest for astronomy, a subject he could talk about all day long. Patton’s joy for cooking, particularly baking. He would sing for hours while doing so and the Prince would gladly join him. They discovered Roman’s passion for Disney and surprisingly, the Emo’s liking for the movies too. Their extending debates and teasing bickering were proof enough of that. Virgil’s talent for drawing was revealed by accident one day. And although the boy was embarrassed, he always denied the blushing on his face at hearing so many compliments.

For the most part, these tiny pieces of puzzle were enjoyable, funny blackmail information, touching. But, no one is rainbows and happy feelings all the time.

Down the road, they learned that Logan was “feely-constipated” as Roman had put it one time as they met. Raised by parents who didn’t see any benefit in them. Patton, the eldest child in a complicated family had been forced to take his dad’s place in the house. Roman had had a turbulent childhood. He had fought “many villains” as he liked to call them. An American boy, growing up near Mexico with two moms? Yeah, popularity never had a thing for outstanding kids. Virgil… Well, Virgil was more secretive about his past. But they did know he had an anxiety problem. A fool would notice. And step by step, he opened up to them about it. Developing the trust between four friends against the world and its dragon witches!

They became inseparable, nearly living together. They would see each other before class, at break time, at lunch, and just after school. Not getting home without saying goodbye. Being there, no matter the good or bad days. Becoming closer and closer until the absence of one of them would feel...wrong somehow.

After high school and graduation, confronting life, alone, was an entire ordeal. Tearful goodbyes, and many promises of keeping in touch, they parted ways.

Going to college turned out to be really arduous. Skype came in handy and if it wasn’t for it, the four boys might have lost their mind. Not that Virgil or Logan would admit that fact out loud. They would discuss for hours almost every evening. Then… not so much… All of them were sad about it but… life is life right? They were all occupied and that was okay… kind of.

But, thanks to Patton and his persistence, they still kept meeting for birthdays or special events. None of them complained about that. And if it was a bit awkward at first, well they were fast to resume their special and comforting past atmosphere.

The calls and the texts were decreasing but at least they had that… Until…

Until one of them stopped keeping in touch altogether.

******

MONDAY

Virgil was uncertain how they managed to live peacefully for so long. But he had to admit, as worried as he was at first, living with them came close to normal now. And the emo boy wouldn’t change a thing about it. Sure, it could be unsettling at times, still their lifestyle were worth the efforts they were all putting into it.

Even their spaces were valued… well… most of the time.

Virgil was in his room that day. Listening to music and sketching, humming along the notes leaking out of his black headphones. He didn’t hear the knocks on his door, neither did he see it opening slightly. However, as surprising as it was, he didn’t even flinch as he spotted Patton at the end of the bed. The cheerful boy was grinning down at him, hands on his hips, already greeting him with one of his "Hey there kiddo!" that Virgil didn’t need to remove the audio device to understand. He pulled it off before replying.

"Hey Pat. What’s up?"

"Only the ceiling!" he replied, smile growing at his own joke.

Virgil rolled his eyes but smiled nonetheless. He didn’t bother to hide his half finished scene of a request a fervent follower of his website ordered. And he was paid for it. It wasn’t much but hopefully it would get him more demands, more views. Maybe one day, the emo’s work will be largely known on-line. Secretly dreaming big was okay, right?

"What can I do for you, Pop?" Patton was beaming even more as he answered. "Well, I was thinking about redecorating my room and the idea of a photo-montage popped up in my mind.”

Refraining a grin at the bad pun, Virgil asked if he needn’t some material. Shaking his head, the cheery boy waved his hand at the innumerable illustrations hanging on the walls.

“Wouldn’t actual photos be better for that?” The boy asked, swallowing nervously.

“Nooooo!” he wined. “I really want your drawings! It will be so great! And I promise, I’ll be very careful and it’s just to print them. I’ll give them back real soon! Patton begged with pleading eyes.

Returning the sketches was not his main concern, if it was at all. No, it was the idea that his art wouldn’t be as good as authentic pictures. Knowing the reaction he would get, he chose not to mention it. He pointed at the wooden piece of furniture behind the other boy. "Desk, second drawer on the left. Need some help?"

"No, I got this. Thanks!"

Virgil then proceeded to return to his previous activity, pretending not to throw glances here and there at Patton, mindful of his roommate’s possible feedback. And put his music back on.

Opening the designated container, the other boy took in the sight of a tidy ordered storage space. Searching through Virgil’s drawings was strangely an easy task. While his room was a little messy -mostly from clothes here and there on the ground- his sketching books and material were nearly as much organized as Logan’s room.

Folders in different colors were labeled and placed neatly in a pile. The tags recent. Proof of their nerd’s classifying habits influence on them. The decals named high school or college homework, works on progress, requests and so on. Sketching books, seemingly old but well preserved, were put over them. The covers had a faded tint and dog-eared pages could be seen. Weird pencils and brushes -Patton had no idea what their names could be- were gathered in a transparent case on the other side. One of them was adorned with elegant red and gold swirls design all around it. It was a birthday gift from Roman many years ago. Virgil had choked and nearly cried -fact he will probably deny until his last moments- and had lectured and thanked -"thank you so so much, but you’re crazy but thanks"- Roman about the price.

Patton had no clue how this one in particular was special compared to others. All he knows was that the illustrations Virgil achieved, this special pen in hand, could compete with reality. Those scrawls -as the emo called them- were so beautiful, so alive ! The grinning boy would look at them for hours without wanting to stop or even blink. 

He picked up the first one and opened it in the middle. His eyes sparkled at the sight of a particularly funny and cute drawing of the four of them. The room was only pictured by a few lines here and there but a couch gave away the exact location of their living room. Roman was lying across the sofa, an exaggerated amount of drooling on his cheek. Patton was putting a blanket over him while Logan was sitting in an armchair, a book in hands and a faint smile in the corners of his mouth at the scene in front of him. Virgil was a little apart from them. Phone in hand, earbuds on. His traits weren’t as detailed as the others’. Virgil had this bad habit of neglecting all the things involving himself. Despite his roommates’ constant efforts and encouragements, their gloomy friend wasn’t entirely at ease with hearing and accepting their praises.

Turning the pages, he was met with more oh, so fabulous drawings ! Animals, landscapes, strangers in the street. But mostly of them together. With a pleased sight, Patton proceeded to take all the folders and books out and put them on the nearest corner of the desk. He put them in a quite stable stack. 

Page by page, Patton thoroughly focused on each of them. But the concentrated frown on his face disappeared the more and more he get to admire them. One represented Logan and himself in the kitchen. And while the paper Patton was experimenting a great amount of sugar in the unknown recipe, the genius was exhibiting a measuring glass with an exasperated expression. A few mathematics symbols were floating in a bubble above his head. This scene actually happened. And just thinking about it made the boy laugh. The reminiscence of Logan’s face – priceless – created giggles that shook his body with their force, overpowering his will to hide them.

Too immersed in his musing full of past souvenirs, he didn’t immediately registered his hip hitting the pile and sending the top of it down on the floor, clattering loudly. His laughing died abruptly and was replaced with an expression of horror.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to do that!” Patton apologized profusely, picking up every item on the floor as quickly as possible.

“It’s okay Pat.” Virgil reassured. “It’s just old stuff, not that important...” he trailed off even as his throat felt dry just saying it. Not that he was mad at the other boy or something. Just plain old insecurities being themselves and showing up. And never at the right time. Well, it wasn’t like there’ll ever be a right time for these sort of things anyway.

“Are you kidding? All your drawings are so astounding. It’s like you are inside the picture! You can literally know what the characters are doing, thinking, what they would say. It’s incredible! And you, young man, don’t have the right to demean your so beautiful hard work!”

The emo felt rather uncomfortable and dropped his head a little. His face flushed at the praise. Deciding on ignoring the not-really-agreeing-part of himself, he mumbled a quiet thank you, hoping his friend wouldn’t insist.

Satisfied with the answer, Patton nodded to himself. Virgil tried to stand up and help him but the bespectacled boy hastily convinced him to stay put. After all, he was the one responsible for this mess. Not completely reassured but not wanting to upset his friend, he return once again to his drawing and music world.

Focusing back on his task, cheeks flushed in slight embarrassment at his own clumsiness, Patton was quick to gather the rest of the articles. So much for promising to take really good care of Virgil’s treasures. Examining the covers, he sighed in relief when he realized that none of them were damage. He mentally thanked the thick carpet for its involuntary assistance and placed everything on the desk. Right in the center. Checking the ground in case of an oversight, he spotted two other small sketchbooks under the bed. Crouching down, he grabbed them with one stretched arm. As his quest for the lost books was coming to an end, something white slipped to the floor. Intrigued, the curly haired boy let go of the books and caught it between his ring and pinkie fingers.

It was a scrap of paper, folded in four. It was from a notebook, Patton could tell from the little dark blue lines horizontally drawn on it. The texture was smooth, like it was kept between two pages for a long time but properly preserved there. One edge was a little torn but that was the only apparent casualty.

Intrigued by its content -maybe some doodles?- Patton, a malicious smile on his face, took a more straight position. Once he was comfortably sitting against the bed, he unfold it.  
Nothing made sense for a few terribly horrendous long seconds.

And then...

A loud gasp escaped his parted lips and, reflexively, he put a hand over them. His body going rigid suddenly. Kneels, flat on the ground, frozen like a statue.  
Virgil didn’t hear him, but his stiff posture made him paused. Patton seemed paralyzed, a few feet away from him, his back toward the emo. An eyebrow raised in a question mark, he took off his headphone once again. 

“You’re okay there, Pat?” he asked hesitantly.

Startled, the boy rushed to his feet and picked the last books up awkwardly. He stowed them quickly back in the drawer and added the others on the top. “Yeah! Ye-yeah! Everything is totally finy fine! Everything is goody okay! Totally! he answered with an uneasy smile.”

“You’re sure? You’re acting weird.” he inquired with a frown. “More than usual.” he added after a pause.

“Sure thing! I’ll leave you now!”

“But-weren’t you looking-”

“Oh yeah! I-huh-I forgot! I have something really really important to do. I need to do it now!”

Patton was perfectly aware of the forced smile on his face. He just hopped Virgil wouldn’t call him on it. And if Patton wasn’t putting so much effort into looking perfectly normal, maybe he would have noticed the emo’s widened eyes and tense demeanor. And if Virgil wasn’t feeling so anxious at the moment, he might have seen his friend’s hands fumbling nervously behind his back.

Patton stumbled back, smile still on his face until he reached the door. He opened it, eyes wandering across the room, everywhere but on his friend, and waved awkwardly before closing it.

The second the usually cheery boy disappeared, Virgil threw himself out of his bed, knocking down everything on his laps. He nearly fall in his haste to get to the desk. Yanking the drawer Patton was searching through open, he lifted every book and every portfolio he could find inside. Not finding anything, the panic swelling up in each cell of his body, he switched and took the last drawer out. There, under tons and tons of drawing material was the item he was looking for. He let out a sigh of relief as he pressed the object securely against his chest. He took a few deep breaths to calm down his rapid heartbeat. It was an old tiny wooden box. The beige paint was a little chipped between the two joined parts and on the top, but relatively well protected over time. 

An embarrassing flush tickled his cheeks at his brusque reaction. Just like a child. He should feel grateful for the absence of witnesses. Trying not to think about it, he looks down at the box. There was no need to open it. Virgil knew all too well what dark and dirty secrets were concealed in the little confer. All the details were flawlessly anchored in his mind. Like the alphabet, or tying his shoes. Or the taste of Patton’s cookies. Freshly baked- wait!

If the box wasn’t what Patton was queasy about, then why was he acting so strange?

Maybe he really did forget something. Patton always had a tendency to have his head in the clouds and forget about things. Well, when he was concerned anyway. When it has to do with people he loved, his mind was remarkably sharp and not a single thing could escape him.

Virgil shook his head with a smile. Patton was acting in a Patton way, as usual, the emo boy reassured himself, trying to ignore the nagging feeling at the back of his mind. 

******

As soon as the door was closed, Patton’s back was against it, helping him in keeping some kind of balance. Shallow breaths and erratic heartbeat shook his body. His hands trembled as a wave of doubt, confusion and fear clouded his mind and blew away the little control he has over it. His thoughts can’t get around what he saw not one minute ago. There must be a rational explanation. Maybe he was tired and his brain messed up. Truth is he was really tired lately. School had been a handful for the past week and he was really really exhausted?

All his positive thinking crumbled fast as his eyes cast downwards toward the piece of paper..

His vision became blurry but he was too troubled to comprehend why. His knuckles were white from clenching his fists. The sheet crumpled a little at the action. Why was this thing in Virgil’s room? It didn’t make sense. At least he thought it didn’t. But..

He doesn’t know how long he staid like that. The slam of a door near his spot pushed him into moving fast and reaching for his room before anyone could see him.

He didn’t come out until the next morning.

******

TUESDAY

07:15 am. 

It was time for breakfast.

Every morning was a succession of meticulously timed phases of preparation. Wake up at seven o'clock. Shower. Getting dressed. Combing. Fifteen past seven was breakfast time. At twenty to eight, the used plate was in the sink and at eight o’clock, time for departure.

Logan was walking down the stairs like his morning routine required. Today would be a busy day at school. Five classes. Three tests. He was confident in his success. Two of them were his favorite classes and the third one was easy enough.

His encouraging thoughts dissipated almost immediately. As he rounded the corner to the kitchen, his body came to a halt at the sight before him. Patton was sitting there, at the table, eyes unfocused toward the window, a hand under his chin. Logan frowned. His roommate was the kind of person to be lost in the enjoyable and glittery world inside his own mind. But that look on his face. That wasn’t a facial expression that either of them could see that often.

“Good morning Patton” Logan greeted him, sitting down on the other side of the table.

Startled by the sound, the blond yelp and faced his friend. “Logan! Oh dear, you scared me there!” A bright smile appeared on his face, but no need to be a genius to see it was a little strained. “Good morning! Why are you up so early?”

Logan’s eyebrows raised at that. He took a quick look at his watch, checking the time. “Patton it’s seventeen past seven. What are you talk-” The look of pure horror on the boy’s face showed his total unawareness on the matter.

“I’m so sorry! Oh no, the breakfast isn’t ready yet!” The young boy stumbled out of his chair so fast Logan thought he was going to slip and fall for a second. He was babbling apologies and what seemed to be a list of needed items while seeking for them through the cupboards and the fridge.

“It is no problem Patton. I will help you today, there is no need to be sorry.”

But the blond didn’t seem to hear him. As he got closer, Logan could perceive the mildly shaking hands of his friend. He decided to take the frying pan out of his hands, startling him again. Now that he was facing him, he noted the small dark circles and slightly red eyes.

“Patton, are you- are you alright?”

A gleeful expression covered the other one. “Yeah! Of course! Sorry! I-I didn’t sleep much last night. I have a really big and important paper due on Monday and I stayed up late. Just a little tired. That’s all! I’m great!”

Logan knew he wasn’t the best in deciphering others’ feelings but Patton’s behavior remained a tiny bit strange. Again, his explications could be true. He remembered that he didn’t come out of his room the previous evening, not even to eat. He told Roman through the door that he was occupied and insisted he would eat later. And if he didn’t consume any nutrient since yesterday lunch, it could explained the trembling he noticed in Patton's hands.

“You know I can help you if you have difficulties with your assignments. My last test for this month will be tomorrow morning. Apart from this, I will be completely free to assist you in any possible way.”

“Oh no it’s okay! I know I can ask you for help but I’m good, I promise. It’s just a long progress project. Almost done!” he said in a rushed voice. “Logan? Can you give it back to me?” he said, pointing at the utensil between Logan’s fingers.

“Patton, you are still wearing your sleepwear. I suggest you go back upstairs and take a shower and get ready for the day. I will handle the preparation of the breakfast today.” he said kindly. At least he thought his ton was. 

But Patton appeared to be hesitant. From the start, the boy was adamant that he has to do most of the chores in the house. It was in part a habit he kept from when he was living with his mom. He was used to take care of every duty back there. And also because he couldn’t exactly pay the entirety of his part of the rent. Logan and Roman had a scholarship in Astronomy and Astrophysics and Theater Art. Virgil had found a job, allowing him to live normally. Patton had tried to find one, but his studies were taking all his time with the internships. He was working very hard to become the great teacher his roommates knew he would be. It took time and long persuasive speeches for him to accept splitting the tasks. And even then, the blond asked to be responsible for most of them. The more significant being cooking.

“I assure you, it is no trouble.”

He put what he hoped was a convincing smile on his face. The other boy quickly eyed the clock on the wall and made up his mind. He would be late if he didn’t hurry up now.

“Are you sure?”

Logan nodded.

“Okay… I guess I’ll go take a shower then...”

After numbers of apologies and the promise of doing better the next day, Patton left the kitchen rapidly, nearly bumping in Roman on his way out. 

“Greetings my dear Pat-”

“Hello Ro!” he exclaimed without slowing his space.

The princy boy watched him go, a little stunned, before turning toward his other roommate. “Is he okay?”

“Yes. Apparently he didn’t sleep an enough amount of time last night. He is still tired and would have been late for school. So I offered to be in charge of breakfast this morning.”

Roman’s eyes widened at that. “Oh no! No, no, no! I’ll do it!”

“No sense. I told Patton I would do it.”

“Logan honey, you know I like you with all my heart but you are a walking disaster when it comes to pancakes and sweet food.” Roman explained like he was talking to a child.

“I am not!” The genius replied, slightly offended.

“Not what?” a cracked voice asked.

Virgil was standing in the doorway, yawning in his fist.

“Logan wants to prepare breakfast.”

The emo’s eyebrows shot up.

“What? Where is Patton?”

“Late. In the bathroom.”

Virgil eyed them for a moment, slowly processing the information in his still sleepy brain. A few seconds passed. Then:

“Roman will do the breakfast.”


	2. "Well...That Proved To Be Disconcerting."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little further in Patton's case...

Breakfast happened in a relative silence. Patton came down just in time for them to leave, swearing he’ll get something to eat on his way to school. That just left Roman who had his first class at ten on Tuesday. He liked Tuesday! Tuesday was the day of movie marathon. And today was even better because it was Disney marathon. He couldn’t wait! Plus, tomorrow was rehearsal day. What a beautiful way to begin the week! Virgil never understood why Roman was so obstinate about being up so early when he could be out of a possibly anxiously inducing ten-ish hours circle for a few more hours. But the flamboyant young man was like a metaphorical magnificent sparrow, chirping at the top of his lungs in the morning to say hello to the world. Not in a metaphorical way…

He was comfortably settled on the sofa, watching TV, a Stitch shaped mug of hot chocolate in one hand, when his phone started ringing. Into the unknown was beautifully reverberating in the room. Elsa was singing the last sentence of the chorus and Roman took his sweet time to answer, savoring the notes and the rhythm.

“Valerie?”

“Roman.” she answered with a playful voice.

“Valerie!”

“Roman!”

“VALERIE!”

“ROMAN!”

“What’s up?” he said, trying to recover a serious intonation.

It was a joke between them. An exercise they did at drama club. They had to communicate using only one word. They did great, really great. So great that they decided to do it again and again and again, much to the distress of their friends and families.

“Can’t I call my favorite Prince just to say hi like the fabulous friend I am?”

And here comes another private joke.

“Of course my brave Lancelot! I must say I am delighted to hear from you. How are you?”

“As fine as a knight can be my kind Sire. What about your Highness?”

“Perfectly fine dear chevalier.”

They were giggling so hard that Roman’s cheeks began to hurt.

“Virgil would actually groan if he could hear us right now.”

“No doubt about that. But then, we would start singing Disney songs-”

“And he would join us, almost entirely willingly.”

“And Patton too!” Valerie added, clearly enjoying shared past memories.

Roman stopped laughing at that. His mind went back to Patton’s reaction this morning. He seemed a little bit out of it. It must be a really big assignment that he had to write. The young man, even if he was emotive, was always in the positive emotive zone. Once Patton finishes this big paper, they will all go out and do something fun. He was now feeling like he missed them, even if they were all living under the same roof and seeing each other everyday. They haven’t been hanging out together since...ages. In fact, they all could use some rest from everything. With school, jobs and after-school activities, it was hard to plan something the four of them could do at the same time.

“Roman? You still there?”

“Uh? Oh yes, sorry.” he responded with less enthusiasm. 

“You suuuuure?”

“Yep! Lost in my thoughts for a second here. Sorry, I’m all yours!”

“Oh? Okay.” Valerie seemed to accept and let it slide. “So, now that I have your individual attention,” she began with a teasing and something like a happy note in her voice, like she knew the end of a movie and was about to spoil the most important detail. “There will be an improvised open air cinema on the campus tomorrow and they are rebroadcasting Brigadoon, can you believe that?”

“You’re kidding? That is totally awesome! Oh Dear Te Fiti, why didn’t I hear about this before?”

Brigadoon was one of the first musicals his moms had showed him when he was just a kid. It was the beautiful story of two people living in different worlds and falling in love. But then they have to choose in which world they want to live together. All of that involving a fabulous show of tap dancing.

“Like I said, it’s improvised and it’s OCGC so...wanna join me”

OCGC, or Oh Cinema, Great Cinema! was one of the clubs in their college. And famous for their various impromptu events. Almost like a flash mob. If you’re there, then enjoy the moment. If not, well… you could wake up the next day and discover that you had missed a magical experience.

“Oh I am definitely feeling the thrill from here! What time?”

“They’ll open at eight.”

“Oh no I can’t. I have to pick Virgil up after work. We’re gonna do some errands and Mister Cloudy needs new brushes for his classes.” he sighed, his tone lacking the excitement he felt mere seconds ago.

Valerie stayed silent for a moment. She knew the background story of this arrangement between the four boys. Back in the first year of College, Virgil had a terrible car accident. He was a pedestrian during the crash and was in a really bad shape when he was taken to the hospital. He had multiple broken bones, a big concussion, and an open fractured knee from which he will keep a scar. The doctors weren’t even sure if he was going to make it. He spent two whole weeks in a coma. In the end, he was fine, but the trauma still haunted his mind and he didn’t even try to get his license. And now his job was too far. Forty minutes by walk too far. Virgil never complained, even if he seemed horribly anxious about getting back home so late. He wasn’t to keen on asking or accepting a drive back from his roommates, so certain he was going to bother them or something. And at first, he wasn’t willing to even tell them how far his workplace was. One day, him and one of his colleague were closing the cafe when they were mugged. The following days were filled with a nearly insomniac and stressed out Virgil. They all had to have him sit down and talked about what was causing him so much distress that he wasn’t sleeping or eating enough. And he told them. He told them everything and between sobs he was apologizing, nobody knew why. Maybe Virgil didn’t either. After that, the other three decided to take turns at picking the Emo up on Wednesday and Saturday. Of course Virgil refused and of course Patton fervently went against all his arguments with love and hugs. Patton’s way again!

It was Roman’s turn this week… Logan had classes and Patton had an internship session. But both Roman and Valerie knew he’ll never let Virgil down. No matter what happens, the young man always choose to help his friends before anything else.

“Look, the movie will start at nine o’clock. I can keep you a seat if you want? Maybe you could bring Virgil if he’s interested?”

“You’d do that? You think Virgil will accept?” There was a new degree in his voice. But Valerie wasn’t sure if it was due to the seat-thing. “What did I do to earn such a wonderful Lancelot?”

Valerie couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh don’t think you don’t own me now!” she took a dramatic tone. “After all, I will set my life at stake to defend your ass vessel.”

“Okay, okay. What do you want?” Roman chuckled.

“Don’t know yet. Prepare to suffer, Prince!”

“Bring it on, Torrenz!” he replied, grinning like a mad man. “Oh shit! I’m gonna be late! Val, I have to go. And I’ll ask Virge about tomorrow. See you at lunch?”

“Sure! See ya!”

Roman hung up and Valerie looked down at her phone, a gentle smile on her lips. The boy was one of her best friend. He was so talented and had many qualities. But not a glimmer of foresight when he was involved. Well, she wasn’t even certain either of them were perceptive at this point.  


******

The popcorn was in the microwave, waiting to be popped. The marshmallows were slipped on skewers and the chocolate in a pot, as long as the caramel and cookies in the oven. Roman was mesmerized by the divine scent in the kitchen. Despite the fact that he was a couple of minutes late this morning, the day had been good. He passed a test he had worked so hard on. He had lunch with Valerie and they had talked non-stop about Brigadoon. His last class had been canceled. Not that he didn’t like Mr. Picani, but leaving school earlier was a plus Roman wasn’t going to complain about. And, sublimating the succession of pleasing surprises, in less than half an hour now, they will all get comfy right under a cozy blanket fort he has yet to build, with snacks and Disney movies.

He was hoping Patton would be home when he arrived but he found himself alone in the big house. The confusion he had felt had quickly gave way to an excited smirk. A musical playlist had been put on as soon as he realized he could sing along as loudly as possible. His hips were rocking in time with the rhythm, his movements a little bit restricted by the need to keep his arms steady in the process of putting the blankets on top of the chairs.  
Just as he was finishing the masterpiece, he heard the click of the door, signaling the arrival of one of his roommates. 

“I’m home!” Roman grinned, recognizing Virgil’s voice. “Welcome back, my Purple Friend! How has your day been so far?”

“It was fine, I guess.” Virgil shrugged. “Seems like yours’s been inspiring.” he commented, looking at the fluffy handmade castle with a gentle smile.

“What can I say? My creative side is uplifting today.”

Virgil snorted. “You’re an uplifting creative side in everything you do.” he muttered. The emo boy saw Roman beamed, his smile stretching to his ears at the compliment. Virgil rolled his eyes. “Don’t go all extra on me, I was just stating facts.” he added before the other one could make fun of him or doing a Roman act as he likes to call them.

“Ow, you think I’m extra?” His eyelashes fluttered comically, his hands cupping his face.

Virgil let out a laugh. “Extra-gedy, maybe?”

Roman spluttered in mock offence, his palm flat on his chest in a dramatic pose. Virgil grinned in self-satisfaction at the sight of the much flustered boy in front of him, knowing his friend wasn’t that offended, if the corner of his lips lifting a little was anything to go by.

Years prior, this kind of scene would have played a whole different scenario from the emo’s point of view. First, Virgil had never imagined he could become this close to strangers. Surely not a puppy eyed and huggy boy with a list of puns for decades. Or an uptight nerd, so prone to lecture him on his sleeping and eating habits -nearly as much as Patton- with multiple scientific facts and examples. And certainly not an exuberant, sing-a-lot prince with the frigging power of quoting every freaking line in all the Disney movies and a tremendous number of musical songs waiting to be referenced at all times. And that was without mentioning his striking personality. No one will ever be able to be in the same room and remain unaware of his presence. Back to those days, Virgil wasn't the kind of guy to get friendly. After that he entered the walking-on-eggs phase, not totally receptive to their 'affection', not Roman's anyway. The two were clashing all day long back then. And months passing by, their bickering had been growing into teasing squabbles. And despite his usual insecurities, Virgil could tell pretty easily there was no true resentment between them now.  
The thoughts gave him an inner sense of contentment. They were cut suddenly by an SMS ring tone.

"Got a text from Logan. He'll be here in about ten minutes.”

“Great! That just left Patton and then the long-awaited night shall begin!” Roman exclaimed, enthusiastic, deep voice emphasizing the 'long-awaited'.

“Oh? Patton is not here yet? Where is he?"

"Don't know.. but don't worry. You know him. Must be discussing with Maria and losing track of time again." Roman said lightly, a soothing smile sliding on his face.

That made sense. Maria was a friend from Patton's classes. She was like... a second Patton. An unstoppable ray of sunshine with a heart so big and a kindness so pronounced... that no one could ever guess she was the scariest woman living on earth when someone decided to hurt the ones she has come to like. Luckily for them, Maria had seemed to conclude they were 'worthy' of her tenderness. And sweet Patton, innocent Patton will never learn how much his three roommates had sweated under her piercing gaze. But once you passed the test, you could consider yourself off radar...mostly.

"I think I'm gonna go change. Do you need help with anything?"

"Not at all! Take your sweet time. Tonight, I'm in charge!" he said, looking absurdly proud of himself.

"Oh. Should I be worried?" Virgil answered, faking concern but laughing in the end.

"You'll change your mind, believe me! No cookies for you!"

"Okay, okay! I surrender." he capitulated, his hands rising, palms opened.

Virgil was still laughing while climbing up the stairs. He ignored the "Victory!" cried out by Roman and opened the door to his room. He carelessly dropped his bag on the desk, quite content they had a rule of no-homework-or-as-little-as-possible-on-movie-night and went to his closet to prepare a set of comfortable clothes for the evening. And much to his relief, he had done everything he could the last weekend. He could sit down and enjoy the night without feeling too anxious about school. The emo boy has come to expect those nights. Once a week, the fourth gathered at Roman's house, or Patton's or Logan's -never Virgil's- after school and spent some time together. Virgil remembered the sleepovers, the pillows fights, the duel with the Princey teen's wooden swords, which was just an excuse for Roman to show off while Patton emphasized every compliment and Logan pinpointed the anachronisms.  
It was a thing they have done one, two, three times a week back in High School and had lost during the following summer, when they had moved across the country.  
But now that they were living under the same roof, Virgil would never tell them how relieved he was that they were doing it again.  
Even if.. sometimes.. he got this nasty feeling of guilt twisting his insides painfully...  
He couldn't help but acknowledge the fact he was responsible for them coming back from their new lives. Only... they didn't know it was his fault. They didn't know the real reason behind their return. if they knew...

Virgil took his Toothless onesie and made his way to the bathroom. He heard Logan and Roman talking, and picked up on some words the two were exchanging. Something like 'eating healthier food'. Virgil smirked. Roman was in for the long ride he thought as he closed the bathroom door behind him.

******

The front door opened in a soft click.

"But not tonight! Because tonight is-"

"Tonight is Disney marathon, yes. You already said so. That fact doesn't-"

"Hey! Padre! Back me up here!" Roman called out, noticing Patton in the entryway.

"Wh-what?"

Logan turned toward their friend, a valid argument on the tip of his tongue, suddenly stopped the moment he registered the blonde's sloppy appearance. He was looking at them like a deer caught in headlights, his face plastered with an emotion Logan couldn't name. Roman remarked it too as he approached him.

"You alright there Pat?" he asked, a little worried by his roommate's looks.

The smile Patton threw them seemed genuine enough to calm both of them down a little.

"Of course! You just caught me of guard there. So, what can I do for you?"

There was a second of heavy silence, like no one was sure if the figurative elephant in the room actually existed or not. But normality was back once Roman spoke.

"Well, can you tell Nerdy Nerd here that tonight I am the conductor and no one in this house will eat a single thing remotely close to healthy food. Over my dead body, Jude Lawemon!"

"With the amount of sugar you eat daily, that might happen sooner that you are anticipating." Logan sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

They bickered some more, not discerning the change in Patton's attitude the second he was out of view. They didn't see the way he tensed or his eyes searching frantically through the room, then landing on the staircase. His gaze traveling painfully slowly toward the top, unable to look away or even blink. 

From where he was, he was perceiving only a part of the hallway, half-enlightened by the sunrise at this late hour. The shadows painted on the wall made his stomach cramped. The light beams was flowing through the air, leaving in their trail the unshakable feeling of a veiled, heavy presence. Whirling between floating dust particles, effortlessly altering their course, pushing them to shimmer like a tiny diamond, then forced them to vanish into nothingness.

"Whe-where is Virgil?" the young boy said. 

He nipped the inside of his cheek, wincing quietly at his query tone. The resounding reserve of the question seemed to be the needle bursting their argumentation bubble. They stopped talking mid-sentence and kept silence for what seemed to be a long time. Patton's eyes finally drew away from the stairs to look right into his friends'.

Logan and Roman were staring at him with the same perplexed, and tinted with slight worry, look. Patton tried not to shift his weight from foot to foot under the scrutiny he was subjected to.

"He...went up to change? Should be down soon." Roman seemed to ponder his words, looking at Logan briefly.

He opened his mouth, not sure what he was going to say but got cut short right then. The change was so sudden his mind taken aback. Patton was standing there, his eyes not holding on that strange forlorn expression Roman could have sworn he saw there a second ago.  
Patton was radiating his self Patton's aura. His smile was back full force and spreading its usual contented atmosphere around him. His shoulders were more square, his body language open and welcoming. And there it was, that twinkle in his irises that Roman had come to learn and get used to through the years.

What the hell was that?

"Great!" the young boy replied, grinning. "I'm gonna do the same, now. And no fight kiddos! It's movie night, everybody on his best behavior!"

His sentence wasn't finished that he was already at the top of the stairs, leaving his two friends bewildered.

"What was that?" Roman finally voiced.

"I...have no idea." Logan articulated carefully, his hand lifting to adjust his glasses. Like the gesture would assist him in making sense of the previous encounter.

"You think this paper is still bugging him?"

"It seems so. He appeared slightly distracted this morning."

What Logan didn't mention out loud was that Patton looked fine last night.

What he did instead, was looking back at Roman to ask him if he needed any assistance, the matter of food forgotten and excused himself to his room when he received a kind dismissal. He was about to dismiss his disgruntled thoughts as well and prepared for the night. But before he reached the last step, he was able to discern Patton's form standing quietly in the hallway, in front of the bathroom door.

Logan was not spying on him. He really wasn't. He was only disconcerted, the view of his roommate perfectly still, head down and tilted to the side. And Logan wasn't taking his time announcing his presence to study his friend's behavior. No, it could be blamed solely on the fact he hadn't anticipate...  
Well, maybe Logan could called himself curious. And yes, a little bit concerned about all this. And no, he wasn't used to the be confounded as many times in one day. And the sun was still visible through the large window. And that was too many facts adding up.

"Patton?" he finally called, coming to the understatement that he couldn't stay there indefinitely.

The blond literally jumped in the air, choking down a yelp. Logan startled a little, not expecting such a strong reaction. Patton immediately recovered from his fright, his face a perfect example of his legendary appealing goofiness.

"Logan! You scared me there." His voice wavered, a hand on his chest in an attempt to calm his beating heart. "I was thinking about taking a shower but I guess Virgil is already in there so..." He was walking backward as he rushed the words out of his mouth. "I'll take one after him, I guess. See you!"

With that, he entered his room and closed the door, not waiting for an answer on Logan's part. And missing the puzzled, troubled look Logan throw his way.

“Well...that proved to be disconcerting.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Yes! This is chapter two.  
> Sorry for the delay. I'm really trying to write it well with the dictionnary near by XD It's my best friend now!  
> Hope you enjoyed!  
> See ya!


	3. 'Cause I told you my level of concern...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay this one is a little longer, and giving more questions and many references... Enjoy! :D
> 
> (This chapter title is a song title from Twenty One Pilot for those who enjoy this amazing band ^^)
> 
> Again, SORRY about the possible spelling mistakes. English still isn't my first language so this is my first test O.O

An hour later, Logan was coming down the stairs in his pajamas, freshly out of the bathroom. He had time to reread his notes for the next day. He felt confident he was going to pass the test easily. This was a class he was completely comfortable in regardless of his classmates' embittered opinion of him. He came to the conclusion a few weeks after the start of the school year that his age proved to be the origin of their antipathy toward him. He was one year younger than his roommates but four or five years younger than the university students. He skipped a class at the end of primary school. He had gone to middle school without going through the last grade of primary school, he had been truly proud of himself when he had found out about it. And if it wasn't for his parents introverted reactions, maybe bearing the other childrens' regular intimidation wouldn't have been so bad, and the young genius could have been more...enthusiastic after that. But he had not been given the right to have a say in the matter. He remembered asking his mother one time, if going back to a class in which children were the same age would be a bad idea. She had stared at him like she couldn't believe what he was saying. Like she couldn't understand what line of thought could lead someone, her child, to such a ridiculous question. Her answer, through her words, had matched her rigid reaction. He'd stopped demanding after that, out loud or not. He had followed his parent's implicit directives without a second thought.

Until...

Logan instinctively turned his head in the direction of the couch and his unpleasant cogitation dissipated. Well, a couch or more of an intricate assembling of pillows and blankets, where Virgil was sprawled on, or under depending on how you look at it, in his Toothless onesie, scrolling through his phone, probably Tumblr. Roman was on the floor by the TV, searching encircled by dozens of DVDs, a conscientious look directed at them. Patton emerged from the kitchen with two bowls full of popcorn, near the other snacks Roman arranged earlier. Despite his prior objections on the subject, he must admit the sweet smell perfuming the living room was pleasantly tickling his nostrils.

"Do you require assistance, Patton?" Logan inquired, once downstairs.

The genius's muscles unconsciously loosened up upon seeing the blonde's natural smiley face. He quickly eyed him. Patton's stance was more opened even if Logan could swear he was discerning a hint of tension in his steps. Maybe the shower helped the curly haired boy relax. Or the promise of a soothing evening was able to cheer him back up to his normal self. 

"No, it's okay. Virge and Ro already brought everything here. I was just waiting for the microwave to go ding!" he said like he just revealed a secret prank he was planning, the ears of his cat onesie bouncing over his head.

Logan nodded, his lips tugged a little upwards. He made his way to the end of the couch and stopped in front of it to appreciate Roman's final handwork. The blankets were artistically shaped in some semblance of a colored circus tent. It was the same as when he saw it after getting home. The Mexican boy rearranged it with more pillows and two heated blankets, transforming the whole construction a cozy nest. Roman's talent for manual activities will never ceased to impress him. Not that he will ever say it out loud but his friend had the aptitude to create something that everybody could enjoy with almost nothing to start with. Otherwise, his feeding choices could mildly improve. 

"Okay everyone's ready?" The princey boy's voice boomed with clear trepidation.

Roman was now standing by the TV, bouncing on his feet like a child on Christmas morning, a grin covering half of his face. Virgil sat up, tucked on the leftmost side of the couch, leaving room for the others to settle.

"We have Movie Night every Tuesday, what are you on about?" the emo said, picking a handful of popcorn.

The blank stare he received was enough of an answer. 

"Okay first, IT IS a movie night. And on my list, it is an overflowing fountain of marvelous enjoyment, and amusement and joy. Secondly-"

"Don't these words have the same meaning?" Logan murmured, mostly to himself.

"Secondly," Roman repeated, emphasizing the word and royally ignoring the two others’ snickers. "it's Disney marathon we're talking about. So shut up, and revel in the satisfying feeling of watching these master pieces."

Logan regretfully eyed the different snacks spread out all over the low table. Yes, it smells truly good in the room however some fruits or jam would have been welcomed. He sighed.

"I assume we can't watch these master pieces with-"

"No we can't!" Roman cut him with a goofy smile. "Now, go sit on the couch while I put the DVD in." he concluded and graciously plunked himself down against Virgil, and took the bowl his friend was nursing out of his hands, earning a miffed 'Hey!' in the process.

Patton switched the lights off, gave Logan a sheepish smile and gently nudge him to the other end of the sofa, somewhat distancing the boy from the table.  
The movie started, the bright colors flashing in the air, Sleeping Beauty's -and not Cinderella, thank you very much! Roman had felt he need to testify each time they've seen a Disney movie at the cinema- castle.  
  
And that should set the start of their uneventful -except for Roman's meticulous choreographed moves during each song- evening. Between munching chocolate dipped marshmallows and crispy cookies, they were chuckling at funny moments and being heartbroken at the very sad ones. Well, again, it was mostly Roman who was displaying everybody's spirit on full show mode. Not to mention the familiar arguments Virgil and Roman had on the messages and undertones these movies provided. And having their roommates as neutral parties to bring back the peace throughout the house, or the blanket fort.

The respected the Tuesday traditions, for the most part. Except...

Except something was... not entirely right. For an unknown reason, the promise of an as much as possible peaceful slumber party, didn't seem to grant the ordinary appeasing atmosphere that comes with it.

Logan was attempting to follow the already-known-by-heart plot of a long blonde haired girl brandishing a frying pan and an unsettling intelligent chameleon on her shoulder. He really was.

But something was taking his mind off it. Like an itch, not physical, more like inside his brain. Logan was used to it. It happened every time he didn’t know the answer to a random question. When his mind was so worked up, by thoughts or external factors, he couldn’t focus on anything remotely simple. But why now? The temperature of the room was fine. The big couch was soft and comfy. The school test will be a success, that was for sure. Perhaps he was just tired. Yes, it was probably the case.

But the itching stayed.

It wasn't until they were through the second movie, that Logan was able to determine the source of his discomfort. It was nothing obvious. Then...

Patton twitched beside him, attracting the genius's attention. The blonde was fiercely blinking as he arched his back and changed his position on the cushions. A few minutes passed and he was scratching his arm. After that, he crossed his legs as silently as possible. He took off the heated blanket to pull it back just after. The pattern repeated its circle. Patton would stay still a moment then move to straighten his posture. It wasn't due to a lack of space. Except for Roman and Virgil, who were stuck to each other like glue, grudgingly sharing one bowl of popcorn, Logan on the right side and Patton in between still had a decent amount of room to lay down. By all accounts, Patton's continuous shifting could be put on a noticeable tiredness. Every time, just before any twisting, Patton's head tilted forward, so slowly it was almost imperceptible. Then it jerked back up, revealing the boy's surprised face. He looked so tense, his panicked eyes darting everywhere, recovering their calm and sleepy gaze. And it was getting worse by the look of it.

This event wasn't an uncommon occurrence. More than one time they had found themselves fast asleep during those evenings. Yet, they could be exhausted, none of them would have missed out on those shared moments.

Logan could qualify it as quite endearing, observing his roommates fighting the sleepiness out of their half-closed eyes. After years of knowing each other, Logan had become accustomed to his friends' fidgets and tics. Virgil pulled on his sleeves whenever he was anxious. Roman had a habit of humming and pacing while learning a lesson. And Patton always cooked with a small finger raised because he only used it as a licking spoon. And Logan had come to like knowing about these little facts. Especially because it involved the three people he was closest to. All that seemingly trivial knowledge was a source of inner and well hidden felicity. 

This information, studiously stored in a part of his brain, had been the foundation of what as a child he used to call his mind-shield. Knowing meant anticipating. Anticipating meant be prepared. And be prepared, well, summarized his childhood social life. With the other kids, or his parents...  
Right until he met the three boys, presently on his left side and captivated by a singing Moana. Or more accurately, two of them were captivated. The third was currently alternating between dozing off and yanking himself back to awareness.

Usually, Patton would stretch his legs and after battling to stay awake, never for long through, his head would rest on someone’s shoulder, drooling contently.  
However, apart from a sheepish apologize, the blonde never seemed truly remorseful. He never seemed to have a problem with falling asleep on either one of them.

As the bespectacled boy eyed his friend, he realized this behavior was a little out of character, even for Patton. In the sizable extent of data that was Logan’s brain, the memories of this kind were so rare they could be counted on the fingers of one hand.

A new twitch, and Logan straightened his position, a hand heading for the boy’s shoulder, his mouth opening, ready to ask if he was alright when an another detail caught his attention. Patton’s wide blue eyes darted urgently toward his left, like something might jump and attack him out of nowhere. Logan glanced in the same direction. Aside from the window and a lamp -but with the fort no one could see it- there was nothing there. And the shutters were closed, so it felt safe to say it had nothing to do with it. What or who remain, were Virgil and Roman, still enraptured in the movie. Logan’s eyes were moving back and forth between the three boys. Patton’s shoulders were still holding onto some tension but he was watching the TV again.

The combination of slight confusion and a touch of worry was enough to distract the boy momentarily. Retracting his hand, Logan maintained his new position and feigning a great interest in Moana -what would Roman say about that?- he kept an eye out for the blonde. 

Just in case.

But ‘just in case’ turned out to be a more real matter than it seemed.

Patton was constantly casting side glances to his left. Not only after his drowsy episodes, but repeatedly. Like a default mode he was trying to switch in vain. Could he be so tired, he didn’t notice he was doing it?

“Are you alright, Pat?” It was Roman, finally catching up, if only partly, on Patton’s demeanor. “You looked like you could perform Sleeping Beauty.” he added with a soft chuckle.

That simple sentence threw an entire different atmosphere over the place. The blonde stiffened. His body froze briefly, before regaining half its normal composure. Now under the spotlight of three pairs of eyes, he was fidgeting even more and Logan added that fact to his mental list.

Patton faced Roman and laughed like what he said was the funniest thing he heard all day. Something swirled in Logan’s stomach. The boy’s voice sounded a little bit off, forced maybe?

“I’m fine! Just a tiny smally bity tired, I think?” he reassured in the direction of the princey boy, then looked at Logan who squinted at him. 

Smiley tired eyes met piercing calculating ones. 

Patton broke the contact instantly. But there had been, for less than a second, a strange look on his face that Logan couldn’t quite decipher.

“Is it about that paper again? Man, that teacher is really pulling a hit on you!”

“Y-yeah, the paper. It’s taking, like, a lot of time!” Patton laughed it off.

“Maybe you should go to bed?” advised Virgil. “The movie is almost over. We should all get to bed. It’s late.” he added, checking his phone.

“Noooo!” Roman whined. “Can’t we watch another one?” he pleaded with shiny eyes.

“I think Virgil is right. We could postpone it to tomorrow if you would like.” Logan suggested, adjusting his glasses up his nose.

Roman whined some more, his mouth opening in a protest but paused and turned himself toward the emo boy.

"Oh Virgil, I've been meaning to ask you. What are you doing tomorrow evening?"

"We're still going to the store tomorrow, right?" The emo asked back with confusion.

"No, after that?"

"Don't know... Just hang out in my room, I guess." he said casually, shrugging. 

Logan saw from the corner of his eye Patton tensing. He was occupying himself, picking a cookie from the plate and stubbornly looking in front of him, yet his body language giving away all his attention focused on the exchange.

"Tomorrow night there will be an open air cinema on the campus. I wanted to know if you'd like to go with me. Valerie will be there too!" 

Anybody could detect the excitement stemming from him, could see it whirling in ways birthday banners would. Seemed a little too much for a movie, but then again, it was Roman they were talking about. What else could be expected? He was like a kid about to get his most desired toy, up so fast the genius was sure he was going to end up falling on the table. Fortunately, no such casualty happened. He was quick to turn around practically buzzing with emotion. Pointless to say, declining these kind of offer revealed to be a challenging task.

That’s why Virgil was suddenly feeling very out of place. He was pointedly looking at the ground as he absent-mindedly fumbled with his phone and nipping at his lip. No one knowing him could deny he was far from a fan of being in the middle of a crowded place. Not only that statement bore a badly annoying truth, but it wasn’t the main reason for his nervousness.

"If you want you can go, I'm okay with shopping by myself, it's not-"

"What? No! That isn't about that at all."

Roman might act rash at times, but he was curiously observant when it came close to the people he kept close to heart. It almost invariably let a sentiment of fondness hang on whoever was on the receiving end of his attention.

Almost being the key word, here.

Because fondness was engulfed by guilt. He was aware his roommates had shown to be really thoughtful about his insecurities. Particularly when it concerned the mugging months ago, and therefore his car accident. Many Wednesday plans were canceled -more like ruined- just because there was a forty minutes walk between Virgil’s work place and home. And even his friends’ assured confirmations it was no trouble at all he kept feeling responsible for their loss of time.

And now Roman was probably offering him to accompany him in his activities because he wanted so much to go see this movie with his friends but was stuck with Virgil playing the millstone, preventing him from having any kind of fun.

“Roman, if you have plans it’s fine! I can get home by myself-”

“Absolutely not! That is not and will never be on the table for debate. I'm truly asking you if you want to come because I thought it would be cool to do something together, why can't you stop acting like a pigheaded?"

There wasn't any intention to harm in his voice. He truly seemed genuine and that stung a little. Culpability washed over Virgil, second coating his guilt. Silence settled heavily in the room as Virgil reviewed the conversation in his head, not sure of what to answer.

"You should go Virgil."

The sound of that voice sounded wrongfully weak in everyone’s ears. All gazes flung to Patton, now static on the couch, close to Logan. There was a pause.

"You should go." he repeated, more confident. "You could get out and get a little fresh air. Plus, you'll be with Roman and you haven't seen Valerie in a while, did you? And the movie could give you new ideas for your drawings."

His speech rate increased gradually as he spoke, almost reaching a hectic state toward the end. No one said anything for a beat. The only noise breaking through the silence was coming from the TV, the credits were rolling slowly.

"I...guess? I mean yeah, maybe." Virgil mumbled, trying to cover for the weird feeling of unease getting to him, or them if the looks on Roman and Logan’s faces were anything to go by.

"Okay that's settled! Would you like me to make you some sandwiches for tomorrow?" He was already halfway to the kitchen with the nearly empty bowls of popcorn.

"Don't worry Pat, we'll take something from the store and we'll probably eat once we get to Val. But thanks!"

The moment the blonde disappeared in the kitchen, the three remaining boys exchanged looks full of questioning. ‘Is he okay?’ Virgil mouthed, obtaining shrugs and eyebrows raised in answer.  
Patton returned to the living room, visibly happier and more relaxed than he had looked since they put on the first movie. Directing himself to the table, he picked up two other plates but was quickly stopped in his task. A third hand gently snatching the containers.

“Don’t worry about that, Pat. I’ll do it!”

Roman, ever the gentleman.

“What? No it’s alright, I can-”

“I’ll do it.” The boy repeated, his voice firmer. “I think I’m gonna eat some more.” he said, one hand scratching the side of his head, acting a bit embarrassed.

Patton giggled openly but nobody joined him, slightly puzzled and not quite sure what was happening anymore, or if there was something happening at all.

“I will handle the disassembly of the fort.” Logan decided.

“I’ll give you a hand.” Virgil was quick to add, the top blanket already in his hands.

“We will take care of cleaning the living room. You admitted you were tired, Patton.” Logan kindly offered, no accusatory tone in his words.

They made eye contact yet again. This time Patton hold it longer, displaying a good mood for all to see. The genius frowned, at a loss of what to say.

“No, it’s alright. I can help you.”

“I assure you it’s fine.”

He was still hesitating, like he was gauging something in his head. His mouth opened as he glanced at Virgil, eyes hastily landing back on Logan. He didn’t reply, and nodded faintly. 

“May I suggest a good night of sleep. You will surely feel better in the morning.”

Here it was again. That strange expression, for a fraction of a second. Then gone as fast as it appeared. In fact, so fast Logan wondered if he was imagining it.

“It’s all good Padre. You should go. Can’t have you go all Snow White on us now, can we?” Roman teased, lightheartedly.

“Well I think I’m gonna go to bed, then.” he chuckled. “Good night everyone!”

Roman came back from the kitchen as Patton disappeared upstairs. Coming near the other two he asked, voice low.

“Do you think he is really okay?”

Logan considered it, his gaze fixed on a snag, a second blanket in his hands.

“I...” he stopped, and put the fabric down, neatly folded over the first. “I’m not sure. He does seem preoccupied. There is the possibility the writing assignment he mentioned causes him stress. We can all agree that sometimes Patton can act like there is no half-measure. His studies hold a high-level of importance for him. Maybe it’s a more serious matter than we thought. Did he mention any trouble with his grades lately?”

He received twins shakes of heads.

“We should talk to him about it. Get him to relax a little before he goes hermit on us again.”

“Yeah. His last binge-working was four months ago and I keep finding cake crumbs in the books he lent me.” Virgil chuckled while Roman giggled and Logan smile softly.

Patton’s ‘binge-working routine’ as Virgil called it, consisted in the blonde locked in his room for days, munching a considerable amount of candies, cookies and what they named ‘Patty-On-Cakes’ while memorizing a bigger amount of facts. And rarely ended in the need to pulled him out of there like it was the case with Logan.

“I will have a conversation with him tomorrow when he gets back from school.”

“You sure?” Roman asked and Logan nodded. “Okay. You’ll fill us in, right?”

Another nod. Visibly reassured, Roman smiled and grasped the last plates to clean them, not before savoring a last chocolate chipped marshmallow. The last blanket was put over the pile. A silent Virgil stowed them away, leaving Logan to replace the cushions. Satisfied, he walked around the table. On his way to help Roman, and surely prevent him from overdosing on more feeble excuses for food, he noticed a forgotten cookie on it, untouched. He came to retrieve it but a new bothering thought came to his mind. Was that the cookie Patton was holding earlier?

Then another, more disrupting thought overode it in Logan's brain.

Did Patton eat anything tonight?

******

WEDNESDAY

“Hey! Are you looking for a shotgun?”

Roman startled at that, and let out a very manly yelp, thank you very much. He grinned the surprise off his face easily upon seeing a smirking Virgil, bending forward on the window.

“Sorry, I’m waiting for my friend. Maybe you’ve seen him? Walking Emo Nightmare, tall-ass sarcasm, looking like a puppy if someone had stolen its food.”

Virgil dry laughed, opened the door, and sunk into the passenger seat with a sigh.

“Hard day?” 

“Not really, just- very long you know?” He hoped his friend would catch on what he was trying to say. Whatever it was.

Roman hummed in agreement, vaguely taking a guess. 

“How was Drama Queen Club?”

“Fabulous!” Roman spoke in a singsong tone, his grin almost reaching his ears. 

He started the car, and turned up the music, _‘Play Rehearsal’_ chanting through the speakers.

“I thought we passed the whole Be More Chill episode months ago?” Virgil groaned, eyes shut and head banging muffled by the headrest.

“We’re going to see a musical. Thought it was fitting.” Roman replied like it was obvious, ignoring the other’s outcries.

But he did notice Virgil’s fingers hovering toward the car radio, quickly patting them away and turning the music up a notch.

“Don’t you know your classics? Driver picks the music, shotgun-”

"Yeah yeah I know, shotgun shuts his cake ho-" Virgil suddenly stopped earning a brief curious mumble from Roman.

The emo boy had his neck twisted, looking backwards toward the shops they had just passed by. Roman glanced at the rear-view mirror but saw nothing except some people doing shopping, sitting in cafe terrace, drinking smoothies and chattering the day away.

“Huh? What are you doing?”

"Nothing. I just...” he trailed off and sat back in his seat, properly.

He was now looking straight ahead, but nowhere in particular, a perplexed expression covering his slightly made-up face. There was a beat before he spoke again.

“I thought I saw Patton.”

“Wha- where?”

“No I said I just thought I saw him.” Virgil repeated in a half-hidden panic when his friend let the road out of his view in search of their roommate. “Of course he’s not here. Why would I think he would be? Weird, huh?" he laughed hollowly.

Uh oh. That was weird. That, just there, was a pretty accurate demo of Virgil’s self deprecating tone. No. Not good. The alarm inside Roman’s brain went off. Even if at this instant, he couldn’t make the link with the why.

“You okay?” he said, his voice softer.

“Yeah… It’s just that I keep-” he cut himself abruptly.

Roman raised an eyebrow, waiting for Virgil to keep going. He was sure he never would when the boy threw him an uncertain look and opened his mouth.

“Do you...” He looked away. “Do you think he’s okay?”

Oh. So that was the why.

“You think he’s not?” he asked vaguely.

“I-I don’t know... This morning he acted weird, right? That wasn’t just me, was it? He was...Maybe I’m just overthinking it again.” he sighed loudly.

Roman could relate with that. Just as they had came downstairs, bread, jam and cereals, bowls, spoons and knives had been set on the table for them. Only for three of them. In the middle, had laid a small post-it note, one of the corner stuck under a glass. ‘Good morning! I had to leave early today. Have a good day!’ had been written in a small jumbled handwriting. And if that hadn’t provoked a sense of confusion among them, Patton entering the kitchen with a bewildered look did. Not only that, but the smile he had given them had done nothing to hide the dark circles under his eyes, with tousled curly hair and paler skin than normal. After that, he had said hi, said he had left a note and had brisky walked his way out, sheepishly mumbling about going to the library.

Roman would lie if he said he didn’t review the scene in his head several times during the day.

“Hey.” Roman draw Virgil’s attention by gently putting a hand on his arm. “It’s okay. You’re worried for a friend. It’s not a bad thing. I worry too. But like Logan said, he’s probably just too immersed in school work.”

“….You’re right.”

“And Logan said he’ll talk to him. He will surely help him and by Monday we’ll have holy pancakes for breakfast again, ‘cause Logan’s chicken curry is a downright killer but his morning meals skills? I don’t know how long we’ll be able to delay our farewells to our tastebuds.” he wondered, eyes comically wide.

Virgil chuckled light-heartedly, heavy feelings partly easing up on his shoulders. Encouraged by the reaction, Roman carried on his soliloquy.

“I mean, how can someone burn so many meals in one row? While using a timer?”

Virgil tried to keep his laugh inside.

“Do you remember his face when you said it was better to “just go with the flow”? It was like you had asked him if you could set fire to the house.”

They burst out laughing, the image of that moment eternally engraved in their mind. Virgil’s cheeks were beginning to hurt from laughing so hard. They calmed after a few minutes, both feeling better already.

“Wanna listen to Hamilton?” Roman offered once his breath came back to a steadier pace, and handed his phone to his friend.

“Sure.” Virgil smiled and took it.

He opened the Spotify app, hit the Hamilton playlist and played the first one on the list. Roman started singing immediately, Virgil joining him here and there. Not as loud, but still, it felt great to not be alone with his thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting there guys...we're getting there ;P


	4. How do you reach out?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, new chapter here !  
> Enjoy :)

Patton was late. Not to the point of calling the police authorities but late enough to set worry into Logan’s careful streamlining of the situation. He was seated at the kitchen countertop, two not-so-warm-anymore pizza boxes laying beside him as he tried to read more than a page of his book without lifting his head to check the time. His nose wrinkled with the smell of cooked pineapple.

It wasn’t like Patton to be late. Yes, the boy could be distracted by the smallest things, but once he realized it he always called or at least sent a text. But Logan’s phone was gravely suffering from the lack of notification despite the two delivery reports of the messages he wrote.

At least, the extra time gave him the opportunity to think about how to address the topic at hand. Not that he needed it. It was a simple conversation between friends. No reason for him to be so prepared. And yet, he felt he had to. Somewhere in his brain, the itching was persistent, insidious, so low you couldn’t identify it clearly, just loud enough to remind you of its presence.

Logan hated all of it-no. Not hate. What a strong word. Although he mentally and rightfully gave this sensation a disagreeable label.

It had followed him all day long. Fortunately, it didn’t had a regretful impact on his morning test. It did took him longer to finish but he was positive about the rightfulness of his answers.

He sighed and calmly put his closed book on the counter the moment he noticed he lost his line again, glancing up at the numbers on the microwave. Seventeen past eight. Patton was supposed to be home an hour ago. Well, usually he was. Thinking about it, wasn’t he late last night too?

The boy was considering sending a third text when he heard the door creaking open. Holding back a sigh of relief, Logan stood up to greet the blonde.

“Good evening, Patton. How has been your day so far?”

The sight he was greeted with however metaphorically pushed the relief back down his throat. The young man in front of him was bearing an expression of utter tiredness. Behind the surprise and the smile he was greeted with in return, he noticed the red-rimmed eyes.

“Patton are you- do you feel alright?” he said, his voice resounding the slight panic he resented.

“Of course!” he dismissed him quickly. “Just really tired. All this wo-work is burning all my cookie energy away! Do you know when Roman and Virgil are coming home?”

Well, that was a badly disguised change of topic.

“They said they would be back between half past eleven and midnight, depending on the state of the traffic.”

“Great!”

The forced cheerfulness did nothing to reassure Logan.

“Patton,” he said, underlying seriousness in his tone. “I would like to tal-”

“Well!” The boy cut in loudly, his arms stretching and yawning exaggeratedly. “I’m really tired. I already said that, right? I think I’m gonna take a nap now.”

Behind his forced fieriness, he was warily waiting for the genius’s reaction. And truly, Logan was tempted to push the subject. Whatever was on Patton’s mind, Logan was having a hard time believing it was only related to school. That fact in itself proved to bring a strange connotation to the situation. Over the years they’ve known each other, they had discovered that the blonde, despite his daily -and sometimes nightly- will to communicate the smallest feelings passing through his head, had not been so talkative when touchy topics were addressed. Mostly about his family. But they all have been better at sharing thoughts. And Patton has been trying not to undervalue his problems in comparison with the others’.

“I understand. But maybe you could eat something first? I brought your favorite kind of pizza.”

Logan deliberately left any hint of gravity out of his words, deciding to delay the cornering method for the time being.

Patton glanced toward the colored boxes on the counter, seemingly seeing more to it than just the green and red letters on the top. Suddenly he went around the table, took the designated pizza box and put it in the fridge, posture stiffer under the other boy’s gaze.

“I-I think I’ll eat it later. Thank you through! It’s really nice of you!”

“Patton, look at me.” Logan commanded softly, the blonde froze before complying hesitantly. “Is something bothering you?”

Again, the denying was flagrant.

“Why would you think that? I’m pretty tired, that’s all! With school! I’ll just take a nap and be as good as new!”

“It’s almost nine pm.”

“Oh yeah, right! A quick nap, then! Huh, I mean- no, just sleep?”

Logan wanted to argue. Really. This was ridiculous. They were approaching bedtime and if this last observation could be taken as an indicative sample, Patton was, not only not eating at home, but indirectly admitting the existence of a disorderly sleeping schedule. He added that fact to a staggeringly growing list. The disagreement died on the tip of his tongue in front of the hardly noticeable young man’s swaying body. For lack of a better nomination, he incarnated the embodiment of walking exhaustion. The image of a collapsing Patton wasn’t far enough from reality to dissipate the sentiment of alarm it provided.

“Alright.” Logan sighed. “If you aren’t hungry, I suppose you can eat it tomorrow. You should go to bed now.”

There was no order, but the parent attitude was implicitly mixed with the obvious concern. Patton only nodded and, his satchel still hanging on his shoulder, made his way out of the kitchen. Logan watched him go. However, just as his hand touched the door frame he stopped. A few seconds passed, then his head twisted a little, just enough for his voice to be heard.

“Do you know when Ro and Virgil are coming back?” he asked, and Logan’s brain couldn’t get past the thought that the boy already asked the same question no more than two minutes ago, nor that there was a hidden question behind it.

"They said they would return around midnight.” he answered simply, his surprise concealed from his interlocutor mostly because of his tiredness level.

The blonde’s eyes began tracing invisible patterns in the air, facial muscles tensed, like he was trying to resolve a difficult mathematical problem. Then he nodded, probably to himself and was gone with a quiet “Good night.” As soon as he disappeared from view, the boy, left alone in front of the counter let out a long exhale through his nose. His palms flat on the cold surface, he took his time, frowning in concentration, listening to the faint sounds of feet unhurriedly climbing the stairs. At the quiet shutting noise of a door, he perched himself on the closest seat. Elbows on the table and hands now clasped under his chin, Logan had to admit his attempt to talk to Patton had been cut short almost immediately. Besides his anterior worries, the reminiscence of the boy’s face, drawn looking with red puffy eyes only increased the certainty of a more troubling issue than anything associated with school.

Glancing at the microwave for the umpteenth time this evening, Logan paused. It was late. Maybe too late for what he was about to do. But when it concerned his relatives, the genius found that the rules of conduct he insisted on following everyday -annoying Roman as a plus- failed to show a great level of importance. Grabbing his phone, he forced his feet to stay firmly in place instead of bouncing irrationally and selected a number in the contacts list. Someone answered after two rings.

“Logan?” a young grave voice answered.

“Good evening, Christopher. I am sorry for calling you at this late hour and for the inconvenience it may create.”

There was a laugh on the other end of the line.

“Dude, chill. It’s not even nine.”

“I still want to apologize for disrupting your evening. I will only take a few minutes of your time.”

“What’s up?” Christopher asked, the brief light tone gone.

Logan hesitated for a second.

“It’s about your brother.”

Christopher, or Chris as he preferred to be called, was Patton’s brother. Second sibling in a large family, three years younger than Patton. A sharp mind and no real filter. A little rebellious but hard worker when he wanted. Patton had always expressed the pride he felt for his little brother to anyone who would listen. And none of the complaints Chris had formulated about it could hide his smiles at being praised. They have been close since birth. But that changed somewhere before Patton moved out of the family house.

“Hang on.”

He heard shuffling, then the sound of a door creaking open and softly being closed. More shuffling.

“What’s going on? Is Patton okay?”

“He’s-”

Logan paused. He didn’t know what was happening to his friend, and visibly his own brother was unaware of the situation.

“Logan? Still there?”

“Yes. My apologies. In fact, I was calling to ask you approximately the same question. Patton has been...acting strange for the past few days. I was wondering if maybe there was an issue happening at home. I understand my questioning can be interpreted as overstepping. I am not asking for specific details-”

“Logan, Logan stop! It’s okay. Geez, you’re freaking me out here. And stop apologizing!” he said sensing the next words coming from a mile away. “Okay, now tell me. What’s going on with Patton? How is he acting weird?”

Logan felt the need to take a deep breath before trying to explain the situation further. This was ridiculous. Losing his calm wouldn’t help anyone, yet he recognized the feeling of frustration rousing inside him. Not only that, he knew this feeling has been growing since Tuesday morning -or maybe Monday evening when Patton didn’t come downstairs to eat diner-, although he has been able to push it down, to rationalize it. But the old uncontrolled scratching was back with more force now that Logan was giving it his undivided attention. Maybe it was affecting him more than he had anticipated. He sighed again. Of course it was affecting him. His friends involved, the boy came to realize throughout the years, that the detachment he has been able to maintain nearly all his life has been decreasing since high school.

“I have reasons to think something is causing him distress. I can’t tell you exactly the origin of his behavior. We have made multiple attempts to get him to tell us what was bothering him. The only response we received so far was linked to an important writing paper for College.”

“So what? He is stressed because of school? That’s it? You wouldn’t call me if it was just that.” the younger boy stated in a rude rushed way.

“You’re right.” Logan wasn’t offended, he knew perfectly well the boy’s short temper. He wasn’t a bad person, that was an established fact and no one would contradict it. The difference of behavior between the two brothers was undeniable. But the similarities resided in their actions. “I am under the impression that Patton had not been eating or sleeping well for the past two to three days. I suspect something happened on Tuesday morning, or maybe on Monday evening.”

“And you wanted to know if my mother has something to do with it.” There wasn’t any question in that sentence.

Logan was not one to make assumptions too rapidly. But lying was even less in his habits.

“I counted it as being a possibility.”

A long sigh came through the line. Logan gave him an instant. The subject always silently screamed taboo among the two brothers. Logan didn’t know the accurate details, but it was part of the reasons Christopher and Patton weren’t as close as they once were. Patton never really talked about it but it saddened him greatly.

“If it is, she didn’t say anything. I’ll try digging around when I get back there tomorrow.”

“Thank you. Can I ask of you to keep me informed, please?”

“Always so uptight, huh?” Christopher chuckled in a teasing manner. “Yeah, I’ll tell you if something’s up.”

“Thank you.”

A pause.

“Anything else?”

Logan was about to say no but at the last second a thought came up in his mind.

“He misses you, you know?”

Silence.

“I know… You keep an eye on him, ‘kay?”

“Of course.”

“Thanks Logan. ‘night.”

“Good night Chris.”

******

There was no use in trying to sleep now. After his encounter with Patton and the phone call with Christopher, Logan had followed his roommate’s actions and had put his pizza box in the fridge as well. Then he had prepared himself to go to bed. Under the covers and with nothing else to focus his mind on, the idea of a restful night of sleep was slowly vanishing. The boy turned around, his alarm clock flashing red numbers.

11:06 pm.

It’s been two hours since he got in bed. And he has been waiting for his eyelids to finally drop for the entire night. The normally welcomed silence seemed so loud in the darkness, it was infuriating. Specially because the silence wasn’t suppose to be loud. It was another one of Roman’s fanciful expression. It didn’t make sense, yet Logan couldn’t help but find it fitting.

11:18 pm.

Time went by faster than it should. Thoughts crossing other thoughts. Hypotheses running over suppositions. And the worst part laid in the fact that there was no certainty. Knowledge and conviction were good. They were a foundation to work onto.  
If Chris wasn’t aware of any incident, then either the event hit a big level of gravity so intense that Patton had chosen to hid it or it was something else entirely. What could possibly be so terrible to put Patton in that kind of state.

His trail of thoughts were interrupted by a low gurgling noise.

Okay. This was enough. If sleep wouldn’t come, maybe he could spend his time in a more productive way. Like eating, if the new grumble in his stomach could be taken as any indication. Dining after bedtime was breaking another rule he had included in his routine. Hopefully, Roman wouldn’t be there to see it and teased him about it. The teasing would probably last for weeks if he was discovered.

The boy removed the cover from his body, put his glasses on and walked across the floor. He quietly made his way through the hallway, his feet skilfully avoiding the squeaky parquet boards. It wasn’t until he reached the top of the staircase that he noticed the dull lights illuminating the ground floor. It was nearing half past eleven. Were Roman and Virgil early? He sighed and resigned himself to Roman’s future creative jokes. Unless…

Unless the scene confronting him didn’t represent his two roommates coming back from an outing. Well, not those two.

Patton was standing in the kitchen, wearing a sweatshirt too thick for the ambient temperature, a hand groping around in the cupboard and taking a packet out of it. Logan didn’t quite catch what it was from the kitchen entrance. What he caught sight of instead was the presence of a thermos near the plugged-in kettle. What was Patton doing?

Beneath the dim light generated by what seemed to be the blonde’s phone, he looked even paler than two hours ago. From this angle, Logan barely distinguished the bags circling his hazy eyes and the way they blinked slowly like it was an almost insurmountable effort as they struggled to decipher the components of the red package Logan now recognized as their coffee packet. The genius’s eyes narrowed as he failed to understand why his friend would consume caffeine so late. This only confirmed further his theory about Patton’s new sleeping habits. Which only served to increase Logan’s worries for the boy.

Minutes went by and Patton was now thumbing at the opening, a faraway look thrown at nothing in particular. Logan’s mind registered the sluggish movements and slumped shoulders like he was carrying the weight of the world on them. Logan waited, hoping anything would bring some sense in this strange atmosphere ruling the rhythm of their life for the past few days now. But nothing happened. It was like watching a picture. A frozen moment in the life of a lambda individual. A scene from everyday life...if it wasn’t for the blatant uneasiness hovering in the air.

“Patton?”

The whispering was enough to make the boy jump with an echoing yelp. The packet of coffee slipped from his hands as he abruptly backed away from the voice like it was going to attack him. The container hit the ground in a loud thud, its content spreading on the floor.

“L-Logan!” Patton stammered, left hand visibly keeping him from falling down by holding firmly the countertop. “You scared me!”

Clutching his chest, he was struggling to regain a normal breathing. Then, as if inhaling air wasn’t important anymore, the boy froze upon seeing the mess of black seed spilled at his feet.

“Oh no! I’m so sorry! I-I-I didn’t mean to do that!”

He was already kneeling down to gather all the powder. His hands slid over the floor, moves frenetic and imprecise, almost desperate. His frame shook in and out of the phone light line, contrasting with the softness of the glow it diffused.

“It’s okay, Patton.” Logan reassured. “I should have made myself known.” he apologized, even if he had only whispered.

However, the boy on the ground didn’t look like he heard him. Logan squatted down in front of him, but his friend didn’t seem to acknowledge his presence either. His head hung low, intensely focused on his task. His nails were scratching the tiles with much more force than necessary to collect even the smallest grain, invisible to the naked eye. Logan took the packet from the ground at a deliberately slow pace and put it upward on the table. Patton was still concentrate on amassing the dust, not once looking up.

“Patton?” Logan called softly. When it didn’t work, he opted for putting his hands on top of his friend’s.

That gave him a reaction. Patton’s upper body recoiled so fast Logan nearly flinch in response. Their hands were still connected and he could feel more than seeing them trembling. And if that fact wasn’t adding up to other disturbing clues, previous and present, maybe Logan wouldn’t experience this unforeseen gnawing feeling clinging to his stomach right this very instant. Their eyes met and Logan resentfully decided 'gnawing' wasn’t a strong enough word anymore. Patton stared at him, gaze somewhat watery and unwavering but not completely anchored in the moment. The bags under his usually sparkling irises were more prominent with the closeness, despite the semi-darkness. He was at a loss of what to say, and sweet crofters, if that wasn’t so far from an everyday event in Logan’s life...

“Patton.” he swallowed to regain his composure. “We can use the dust pan and broom to clean the floor, alright?”

The soft tone he used was laced with an imperative requirement directed toward both of them. Logan took it upon himself to pull his friend up gently and to help him to the closest chair.

The following minutes of silence only broken by the jolting of the cleaning instruments allowed Logan to clear and wrap his head around what just happened. As he swept the remaining coffee powder, he observed Patton from his peripheral vision.

The coffee in the trash and the dust pan and broom put away, Logan headed for the fridge to retrieve the pizza boxes. Without leaving his friend out of his line of sight, he proceeded to reheat pieces of them. The numbers going down were simultaneously taking too long and decreasing so fast.

The blonde was visibly curling in on himself as time passed. The change was striking. Where he looked on the verge of panicking one minute ago, he was now motionless, like a sculpture, a part of the decor. Shoulders slumped, eyelids blinking so slowly Roman could have compared him to the sloth in Zootopia. What was his name again?

The beeping of the microwave echoed harshly against Logan’s ears, but he couldn’t deny the missing amount of artificial light as soon as he opened it.

“Would you like something to drink?” he asked, putting one plate in front of Patton, the second one directly across. “Patton?” he insisted when he got no answer.

The boy in question lifted his head and looked away as soon as their gazes met. He simply shook his head and mumbled something along the lines of “I’m fine.”Logan gave him a glass of water anyway, if just to prove a point. Which one exactly? He wasn’t sure himself. Maybe he wanted the other boy to know-to know what? That he was here? That even if his friend didn't know what was good for him, he could rely on Logan? Or maybe it was all an odd way to show his will to stand by and wait for the blonde to come around on his own was reaching his limits? He sighed internally. That was putting too much meaning in a simple glass of water.

He looked up from his steaming reheated dinner, and realized maybe his hunger dropped down in the last few minutes.

"Do you need some cutlery?" 

Both of them painfully considered the question as an attempt at normality. 

“No, it’s alright. Thank you.”

His ragged voice rang sorely in Logan’s ears. The water will be of use. Yet, Patton didn’t reach for either the glass or the food. Logan purposefully obliterated his lack of hunger and took a bite of his pizza, persistently looking at the boy in front of him, prompting him to do the same. The blonde fidgeted a little before lifting one slice to his mouth. He conscientiously chewed and swallowed, like the action was a new experience to his taste buds. The bitten piece rested on the plate a second later, Patton giving it a semblance of a disconcerted look but in the blink of an eye, it was gone. Clearing his throat, Patton’s mouth opened. But before he could say anything, Logan, sensing what was coming beat him to it.

“Patton, I would like to speak to you.” He kept going before his friend could wave away his concerns with another cheap copy of a smile. “Let me talk first, please. I have come to notice that you seem a little bit distressed these past few days.” he started, trying to lower the seriousness of the conversation, but already knowing it wasn’t effective, seeing as Patton fidgeted nervously. “I know you said you were under stress because of your assignment. However, I can’t help but think there is another reason. You are clearly not acting like your usual self.”

One of his hand reached for the blonde’s attention across the table. Patton lifted his head, looking at Logan, uncertain.

“It’s proven that talking about our problems can help, not only to find a solution, but also to increase mental wellness.”

Patton’s lips twitched upward slightly and Logan counted it as a victory. Patton always smiled when Logan was stating facts. They all knew there wasn’t any malice in those smiles. They were genuine. The boy constantly encouraged others to be themselves and they knew he felt proud each time they granted themselves to be.

“If something is bothering you, I will help you in any way I can. We are all here for you, you know that?”

He received a timid nod.

“Patton? Is there something you would like to talk about?” he said in a gentler voice than before, like he was trying not to scare him away.

Patton fiddled with his hands. His eyes were drawing invisible patterns on the table and his teeth were biting the inside of his cheek. He opened and closed his mouth a few times. Logan’s heart beat a little faster in anticipation. Suddenly, Patton looked directly at him, still hesitant, a distant glimmer of something in his eyes Logan couldn’t name. 

“Logan,” 

He was shaking so much. What happened to put the blonde in such a state? The boy took a deep breath.

“I-”

“Tap dancing, Roman! It was freaking tap dancing!” Virgil wispheryelled.

“Stop being so dramatic about it!”

“I can’t believe you made me watch a tap dancing musical!”

“Okay, first of all, it’s a fantastic musica- oh hey Lo, Pat! What are you doing up?”

Logan let out an inaudible curse at the poor timing. Roman and Virgil huddled in the kitchen, plastic bags in hands. They stopped talking once they registered the presence of their two roommates, with a phone as their sole light.

“What’s going on?” Virgil asked warily, gaze darting repeatedly between them.

Patton’s body had tensed up as soon as he had heard them coming. His demeanor taking on a sharper focus on the present. 

“We-hm-we were...” he stopped, looking for an answer, only succeeding in deepening the newcomers’ frowns.

“We were about to dinner.” Logan answered casually, though his gaze was willfully directed at them.

The silence sat heavily in Patton’s chest. His hands clenched under the table, sensing the noiseless conversation, fraught with tension.

“Well, I was almost don-”

“Oh! That’s perfect, then! We couldn’t finish our tacos before the movie. Might as well eat them now. Man, I’m literally starving here!” His voiced boomed exaggeratedly as he set the bags on the counter.

“Dining in the dark?” Virgil uttered, a small smirk forming on his face. “I’m sooo in.”

“Stop that!” Roman nearly hissed, hair standing up on the back of his neck. “Stop going all Dracula on us every chance you get!” His loud tone dropped to a plaintive, squeaky whine, making Virgil laugh devilishly.

The emo boy moved to fetch two more plates and Roman quickly turned on the light. Patton’s face seemed to regain some color and composure as well. Yet his shoulders were tensed and his downcast eyes still a little red and undeniably tired. But as soon as Virgil sat at his side, just on his right, his head shot up so fast he gained sides looks of confusion and worry from his two friends. He blinked a few times as he swallowed his uneasiness with a smile. His hands made too much noise when he put them on the table, an unquestionable support in standing up.

“I think I-”

“It’s been awhile since we had a late eating party together. That’s something we should do more often, don’t you think Pat?

There was no given choice in the way Roman’s hand grabbed Patton’s shoulder, stopping him from standing further, neither in the boy’s smile. And the blonde could only smile and give a stiffed nod.

Logan ignored their weekly Tuesday rendez-vous full of sugary snacks, according the pretense of his entire attention to his plate only for half a minute. Externally, he was showing a calm appearance, while his mind was calculating the more adequate next course of action. In silence, they started to eat their respective meals. Some of them with more fervor than others. Still, it wasn’t totally genuine. Virgil observed every member of their little group warily, between one bite and another of a slowly fading taco. 

Patton was giving more thoughts to the pineapple pieces decorating his pizza. Or it was preferable to refer to it as such rather than admitting he was deliberately trying to ignore the world around him and, by extension, the three boys throwing not so subtle side glances in his direction. Someone cleared their throat and the following intake of breath pushed the blonde into action.

“So! How was the movie? Did you like it? What was it about? You found Valerie easily-oh! How is she by the way? It’s been too long since we last saw her!”

It seemed like it was the longest tirade they’ve heard him say in two days. Maybe it was.

Patton finally lifted his head as he spoke. Roman, much to his credit, was bravely looking at their distressed friend without so much as a flicker. And he didn’t look as troubled as the others despite their best efforts to mask it. Logan quickly regained his composure, and joined his hands in front of his lips, elbows planted firmly on the table. The blonde barely took the time to make eye contact. He kept talking, his voice painfully raspy.

“We should totally invite her for diner soon! Or maybe outside? There’s a new restaurant uptown tha-”

“Patton, breath.”

He didn’t register Virgil’s soft voice as much as the emo’s hand on top of his. His unblinking gaze widened, fixed on the pale flesh and dark painted nails. He was looking at it, entranced like it might disappear any second now. A small twitch from the hand and his gaze traveled up the arm, the shoulder, the neck, until they reached the concerned face of his friend.

“Are you alright, bud-”

As soon as Virgil retracted his hand, the emo internally cursing himself for what could have been taken as an awkward gesture, Patton’s head dropped. But not before Virgil thought he saw something there and his stomach dropped with a hella ton of dread. Were those...tears? It was too quick to be sure. And not a second after that, Patton revealed a face which, despite the clear exhaustion, was bearing what was close to what could be called a genuine smile.

“Sorry, sorry! I’m rambling. So? How was the movie?” he finished with a small voice then took a far too big piece of the previously neglected pizza in his mouth.

Seconds stretched into emptiness, only covered by the intense chewing.

“It was great!” Roman was the first to speak and Virgil could bless him right about now for this. “It’s a story about a man named Tommy.”

“Oh no, not again!” Virgil groaned, head hitting the table.

“You can’t complain! Valerie saw you stamping your feet in rhythm with the songs.” Roman replied, a pride smirk triumphantly directed at his friend, even though he couldn’t see it.

The intensity of the glare he received was gravely reduced by the blush spreading on Virgil’s cheeks, making him laugh.

“I told you, my legs were numb!”

“Oh yeah? For like about three minutes every time a song popped up on the screen?” 

And if that wasn’t a growl coming through Virgil’s hands hiding his now red face. 

Then, Roman started recounting their evening, not forgetting to mention each little detail about Virgil just to embarrass him. And now Virgil was forcefully restraining himself from reaching Roman’s neck with both hands. But after a minute or so of hearing about Brigadoon again for the umpteenth time that day, he could have sworn that was an authentic giggle coming out of Patton’s mouth. His heart felt suddenly lighter as they all saw the sparkles slowly returning in the blonde’s eyes.

As they drifted from one subject to another, it was just like always. With Roman, exaggerating every detail, Virgil calling him out on his bluff and Logan stating facts to validate either Roman or Virgil’s point of view. Mostly Virgil’s. No one missed the way Patton wasn’t contributing as much as usual but he was laughing here and then, a sound resounding like an appeasing melody. Even Logan, who had seemed affected at their arrival, was looking like he was having a good time. They kept talking and eating, Roman and Virgil started picking food in the pizza boxes, not without a comment on the choice of topping.

A ringtone interrupted them in the middle of the Pineapple argument because “Pineapple? Really?”.

“Oh shoot! I forgot to tell Valerie we got home.” Roman excused himself as he pushed on the green icon on his phone and left the kitchen, prepared to be on the end of a lecture about worrying the fussing girl.

“Well, it’s pretty late. We should be heading to bed soon.” Logan informed the two boys remaining at the table.

“Yeah! I’m pretty beat. Think I could hit dreamland and not leave it or my bed ever again. Sounds like a good plan.” The emo said as he get up to gather all the plates and put them in the sink.

“What you mean is that the repeated action of ‘dancing to the beat’ worn you out?”

“Not you too!” Virgil growled at Logan, not missing the small teasing smirk on the genius’s face.

Logan was becoming too damn cocky and confident since they have known each other. Even more since they’ve been living together. The boxes thrown away, Logan returned to the table and reached for his glass of water, finishing it in one gulp. His free hand hovered over Patton’s empty one but froze mid-air. The blonde’s fingers were gripping it so tightly his knuckles were white from the effort. The boy in front of him was nothing like the joyous, full of puns and smiley funny faces friend he knew. The young man, sitting there, was the exact opposite. If such a scale of emotions or behaviors existed.

In the few seconds Logan took to clear the table, his back toward him, the colors drained from Patton’s face. He was suddenly livid. His eyes were directed at the wall, although Logan was certain he was looking at nothing in particular. There were shock, disbelief and...sadness? No not sadness. Whatever it was, it was worse than that.

“Patton?” Logan whispered the name softly.

Softer than he ever said it before. Softer than the time the boy had recounted the story about his father leaving them, or his mother’s sickness, his difficult childhood he had to hide for his siblings’ sake.

The blonde blinked, reacting to his name being called. His brain showed recognition in his surroundings. He straightened up fast, close to flinching upon seeing a hand inches away from his own. He let out a confused noise and blinked some more. His head flipped up so quickly Logan could swear he heard a snap. He was no longer surprised to witness the change of expression. From distraught to quasi neutral in a split second. That fact on its own gave him a growing apprehension. 

“Yeah sorry! Pretty late! Gonna go to bed now. It was fun, good night!”

After pushing his glass over to Logan, Patton all but fled the room with a smile and a farfetched yawn so obvious Roman’s stage director would perform a dramatic faint at the sight. Letting his two roommates a little stunned and confused with worry. 

_Again..._

As they silently exchanged their bewilderment through their gaze, the genius knew that how ever high Virgil’s level of anxiety may be now, Logan could only bring it up by recounting his evening. He could already tell by the emo’s fidgety hands and insecure looks he was, maybe unconsciously, conveying it to him.

“Bye Val!”

Roman reentered the kitchen, putting his phone back in his pocket with a frown, completely ignorant of the previous disconcerting scene. His head went back and forth between the two boys, his frown deepening.

“What did I miss?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah ! Hamilton reference again and maybe more questions for you guys. Have a good day :P


	5. "Maybe it wasn't all in his head, right?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys ! Long time no see!   
> Here's the next chapter! With no beat reader so... My English skills are on full working mode for this!
> 
> This was going to be a three shots story but my brain can't stop thinking about writing drama so I have to transcript all its crazyness and now I hope you'll enjoy it. 
> 
> I'm going to write maybe 3 or 4 chapters after this one. Not sure. Depends on my brain...
> 
> Enjoy! :)

THURSDAY

Virgil was walking through the campus, his feet dragging him toward his third class of the day. Thanks to his subconscious for taking over the task of guiding him, because his brain could just be described as some sort of puree for all he could bring himself to care.

He couldn’t concentrate in class, even the easiest. Sleeping peacefully wasn’t an option last night. He was just so damn tired and stressed and did he mention tired? A long sight escaped his lips. He couldn’t help it, could he? It was in his nature. He was born with anxiety genes and even Logan’s logic saying positive uses for them existed, it didn’t feel like that now. His hyper vigilance wouldn’t help anyone now. He felt useless, overwhelmed and honestly, he was ready to burst. Behind his bangs, his downcast eyes were reviewing the last events.

_Logan had called Chris._

That fact alone was enough to let them wonder what could have possibly happened to put their local genius to such an extreme measure. He remembered the surprised shout Roman had let out before Logan’d hushed him. He also remembered his own stomach doing painful flips at the revelation. Calling Chris? When he and Patton haven’t talk for so long? And when Logan had explained which state he had found Patton in…

If Logan’s recounting wasn’t enough, Roman had added something more troubling. At least for one of them...

******

_”That’s weird. Wasn’t Patton supposed to be home earlier than that?”_

_”He was, indeed.” Logan answered, putting his glasses up his nose, like it could help him considerate the situation from another perspective._

_There was an oppressive silence._

_”Roman,” Logan said, like he was realizing something he didn’t fully understand “you seem truly quiet.”_

_The young Prince, who was eyeing his phone, looked up from the black screen._

_”Oh yeah, right! Hm, sorry.” But as soon as he said it, his eyes glanced back to his phone, his thoughtful expression hardened by frowning eyebrows._

_”Everything a’right?”_

_”Hm, yeah yeah! Just… just something Valerie said. It’s nothing, sorry.” he laughed it off, his face not quite relaxed. ‘So what happened next?”_

_The genius had seemed hesitant then, pondering different options before replying._

_”I called Chris.”_

******

They had talked more about Patton, the coffee, Logan’s suspicions about his eating and sleeping habits, his strange change of behavior before he had disappeared upstairs. What could possibly be happening for him to put himself through all that? With no news from Chris, they had decided to stop there for the night. But they had agreed this couldn’t last any longer.

Before going to his room, Logan had noticed the blonde’s phone with the light still switched on and had took it upon himself to bring it back to his friend, praying goodnight to the others and leaving them there.

******

_Virgil was stunned. If Chris didn’t know anything, then it probably wasn’t related to home troubles. Or if it was, and Chris didn’t know about it, then it was something big. It wouldn’t be the first time Patton would hide what was causing him such an amount of distress when it concerned his mother. Their story was...complicated to say the least, and Virgil suspected their friend never told them the entire story behind it all. They all came up with their own guesses to fill up the blanks. Imagining a range of possibilities, knowing Patton’s family story, or you know, a part of it, was enough to worry about the blonde’s well being. Should they do something about it? Like calling Chris or his other siblings? No, they were too young for that. Maybe actually go there? Would Patton be mad at them if they did? He knew deep down Patton wasn’t someone to hold a grudge easily, but-_

_”Virge, I can hear your brain gears from here.” Roman teased in a soft voice._

_”Sorry, I just...” Virgil stammered, head down to hide his reddening cheeks as he tried to shake it off with a nonchalant shrug._

_”I know.”_

_Their eyes met, understanding passing through their gazes._

_”He’s gonna be alright. We’re here for him. Whatever this is, we’re gonna make it right, okay?”_

_He hold his gaze until Virgil hesitantly nodded._

_”We could spend some time together to help him relax. Maybe watch Mary Poppins? Now that I know you looooooove tap dancing!”_

_Roman barely dodged Virgil’s punch on his forearm with a smirk and a mocking laugh. The emo felt better despite the little pout adorning his face and the following yawn._

_”Tired?”_

_”Well, it’s pretty late.”_

_Virgil started leaving but stopped upon realizing his friend hadn’t move. His back was turned toward him, his shoulders were a little slumped and the sudden change made Virgil pause, one foot on the first step of the stairs. He tried not to see a resemblance between this and Patton’s fast switching of character._

_”You coming?” he pressed, voice tightening just a bit._

_When the boy spun around on a perfectly balance leg, his phone and its still black screen laid there in his left hand. He tapped it a few times in the palm of his right hand before clearing his throat._

_”Hm? Yeah, sorry.” Roman laughed but he kept fumbling with his phone, distracted._

_He turned off the kitchen light before making his way to fall behind in Virgil’s steps and passed him with a smile. The emo threw him a suspicious glance as he began to climb the stairs._

_”You know, worrying over, well, almost anything, and doing the whole “nothing’s going on” is usually my gig.” He crossed his arms over his chest, going for nonchalance. “You’re not permitted to do that. You are the all-sunshine-and-rainbows-dancer of the group. So? What’s the deal?”_

_He couldn’t help the little smile of satisfaction at Roman’s sudden short laugh._

_”Okay, first of all, you don’t get to do that anymore. We’ve talked about this. No more clamming up or playing the bad boy behind walls covered in dark graffiti for the Glory of everything related to emo style in this world.” he warned, gaining an eye roll from his roommate. “Second, all-sunshine-and-rainbows-prince, not only dancer, capiche?” he added, stopping his ascension and looking down, pointing his forefinger at his friend’s chest in a playful way._

_”Yeah, yeah, don’t get your pants in a twist. What is it? Did Valerie told you your so awesome movie wasn’t this pleasant to watch and didn’t want to say it back there because then you would have gone in full drama queen mode?”_

_Roman squinted at him._

_”For your information, she too, loves this movie. And you really think Valerie would wait to tell me that? She’s at least as much of a drama queen as me.”_

_Virgil smirked at that. It was true._

_”But no, she just...”_

_Roman looked back at his phone and Virgil’s smile disappeared._

_”She told me she thought she saw Patton there just before we met her.”_

_Virgil tensed._

_”What?” he whispered._

_”Yeah I know. She was mistaken, probably. Why would Patton be there?” he tried to shrug it off with a small laugh. “Sorry. It’s stupid. We should go to bed and get our beauty sleep.”_

_And with that, he went upstairs, not looking back. Not seeing his friend’s body froze, his eyes widened or his mouth opened in a silent sign of shocking surprise._

******

A cold shiver went up Virgil’s spine. Nothing happening this week was even remotely reassuring. Not Patton’s behavior, not Logan breaking his own rules, despite the fact that it would be hilarious in other circumstances, not calling Chris,… Nothing!

Virgil rubbed forcefully at his eyes. Until he saw white dots behind his eyelids. The pain didn’t register in his pudding-brain, even as his hands went up, rasping his scalp and pulling his greasy hair. He forgot to wash them but couldn’t bring himself to really care that much. The exhaustion coursing through his bones was weighing him down with every breath. He couldn’t keep his mind from wandering from one thing to another without being able to fully focus on any of them. He had been reprimanded two times in class for not listening and it wasn’t even noon.

He couldn’t wait for the day to be over.

As he blinked the fog out of his eyes, the oh-so-wonderful-view of the campus became less and less blurry. Yet the light color of the level path was lost in the rest of the painting. Roman’s last sentence from the previous night randomly reverberated in his skull. Leading to another conversation they’d had the day prior. When he had left work.

_”Huh? What are you doing?”_

_”Nothing. I just...”_

Virgil had shifted back to a correct position on the passenger seat,.

_”I thought I saw Patton.”_

_”Wha- where?”_

_”No I said I just thought I saw him.”_

Virgil remembered the panic he had felt.

_”Of course he’s not here. Why would I think he would be? Weird, huh?”_

He had laughed it off, ignoring this awful gut feeling.

_”You okay?”_ Roman had said, his voice weary.

_”Yeah… It’s just that I keep-”_

He had left it there. With no further explanation. And eventually they’d left it at that and had laughed about something else. The matter temporarily forgotten and life taking up its course again.

What Virgil didn’t say was that he kept seeing Patton, like, everywhere. This was maddening. But despite the quite alarming bells blaring in his mind, he had tried to smooth it down to- well not Logan’s level of streamlining because that was just impossible. He wanted to force his stupid brain to calm down but now? With what Roman had said last night? It was like pouring oil on a fire.  
If Valerie’d saw him- or she’d thought she’d saw him- maybe it wasn’t all in Virgil’s head, right?

_Right?_

Or he was going nutshell on a cracker here. Wouldn’t be the first time, would it? an inner voice seemed to taunt. He shook his head. No time for that now, he had class and he was already late from the long distance between this one and the last one. And given the metallic painted building in front of him, he was so not closer to his destination.

_Damn it!_

Trusting his subconscious to guide him through the campus maze really was a bad idea. Now he was going to be so late. Just thinking about all the annoyed stares he will receive upon his arrival was enough to send his level of anxiety rocking higher. He know he should run, and fast. But the last of his energy disappeared. Maybe missing one class was okay? The teacher never checked the students’ presence anyway.

His internal hesitation crashed down as a sudden weight brusquely curled around his shoulders and neck.

“Hey ‘sup Guuurl?! What’ you doing here? If I remember correctly, and I know I do, your jail cell for the next two hours is totally in the other way!”

“Morning to you too Rem.” Virgil answered, concealing a sigh.

Even without hearing him, the strong smell of weird spiced coffee hitting his nostrils provided a good hint.

There was a pause. Then sunglasses found their way into Virgil’s peripheral vision. He could feel the intense stare through the spectacle lenses. Inquiring, analytical, searching. It sent a furious itching under his skin.

“What’s up with you?”

The boy took a step back and a sip from his Starbucks cup. Virgil eyed him, clearly unimpressed by the unfamiliar smell. He was wearing his usual leather jacket, or more like synthetic leather cause, you know? Hurting animals was bad. He really was wearing it all season.

“Trying a new brand of crappy latte?”

“Trying not to answer the question?”

Virgil turned his head away, pretending to be interested in the greenish and white damier pattern path at his feet. He shrugged.

“No, I’m just…visiting.”

Wow. That was so lame, even for him.

“Right… And you expect me to believe that because…?”

Virgil sighed once more, defeated. He met Remy’s stare, clearly showing mischievousness and time to spare while Virgil definitely had no desire to talk. He was exhausted and in no mood to handle his friend’s tomfooleries.

“Not today Rem.” he said and started walking in the opposite direction.

But a tsunami of hope and literal walls couldn’t keep the young living almost on coffee alone man away from what he identified as big drama time. Roman and him were so much alike sometimes it was scary.

Remy was quick to catch up with Virgil and link their arms. The yelp he let out as Remy forcefully turned him around, and dragged him away wasn’t something he would ever approve his prince roommate hearing. Not over his dead body.

“Oh! What d’you think you’re doing? Let me go you-”

“Come grab a coffee with me.” Remy cut him off without stopping.

“Huh-What? No-”

“Forgot my wallet, so you’ll have to invite me.”

“No way in hell! Go beg someone else, I’m no charity club he-”

A flash of something blue drew his attention away from the present. He stopped dead in the middle of his sentence. There was back this overwhelming, excruciating feeling. A strong shiver went up his spine as his eyes widened intensely and his mouth and brain ceased working on their own. The emo’s head spun slowly to the right. Time seemed to disappear as Virgil’s troubled eyes found blue deep ones and now even his breathing wasn’t existent anymore.

Not close enough to be certain, but no amount of distance would prevent Virgil from recognizing them. It was Patton in the middle of a crowd of students rushing by. Patton in his blue pullover he loved so much. Patton, his closed friend for years now. Patton with the tired eyes and dark circles he has been wearing for the past few days.

No sound could pass through his tunnel vision. Neither could his brain assimilate bis body collide against Remy’s until he almost fell over.

“Oh! Sleeping Beauty! Watch out a little, okay?”

Virgil blinked, trying to understand what just happened. As he saw the reflect of his face in the boy’s sunglasses, he realized his attention had drawn away. Even before Remy stabilized him he straightened himself in one quick move, making his friend flinch in surprise, and almost dropped his cup of coffee. 

Despite their collision, the emo didn’t give him a glance. He was already halfway turned on his right, eyeing the distance. But there was nothing there.

“What are you looking at?”

Virgil took his sweet time to answer. And even then, his voice was nothing more than a quiet uncertain murmur.

“I-nothing. I suppose..”

Taken aback, Remy looked back at him from above his glasses. And what he saw didn’t sit quite well in his stomach. He hated the long familiar gut feeling that settled inside him. He didn’t loose any second in taking his arm in another tight grip and yanking it so hard his friend literally shrieked. But he said nothing else. The emo boy kept his head down, eyes obstinately trained on the ground. His bangs covering the layer of sweat suddenly running down his face. His back felt damp too.

Was that really him? Either Patton’s strange attitude was getting to him or he was going crazy. Maybe both. Tuesday on his way to go home. Wednesday when he left school to go to work and then again later after his shift when he met Roman. And again today. It was getting him on edge. Each time he thought he caught a glimpse of his friend, not event a beat later he was gone. It was getting to the point of casting glances here and there just to be sure it doesn’t happen again. Or to find anything similar to a proof he was or wasn’t crazy. Whatever came his way first.

Before he realized where he was, Remy had left him alone on the bench of a cafeteria next to the window, walking away to order whatever weird beverage was his actual muse nowadays. Virgil sighed loudly. He was going to miss class and will have to make up for the lost period. He wasn’t close to anyone in particular in this class. Just thinking about asking someone for notes gave him the beginning of a headache. He couldn’t wait to be home already. He wanted to lock himself in his room for an hour or two to listen to music and cool down. That was half-true. What he really wanted was to make sure his friend was alright. He groaned and let his head sink in his folded arms. On top of that, he might be a guinea pig for Remy’s psychologist personality for the next hour. Probably more. Maybe he could escape?

“Bold of you to think that’s a realistic goal.”

Virgil should truly work on his habit of talking out loud without meaning to.

A steaming cup was put in front of him. He eyed its content with an offended look.

“Hot chocolate? What am I to you? Nine?” he scowled.

“Your pouting face says so.” Remy replied as he took a sip from a brand new weird flavored coffee that made Virgil’s nose winkle in disgust. “Besides, we both know how well coffee acts up on your damsel in distress scale-”

“I’m not a damsel!”

“-and your reactions are drawing your mental age near to one of a grumpy child.”

Virgil barely refrained a grunted “I’m not.” to pass his lips.

“Thought you didn’t have money on you?”

“They put in on my tab.” he said like that was the most normal thing to say.

Remy elegantly sat down, legs crossed, one elbow on the table and head lightly tilted forward with his eyes visible over his glasses. Damn. It was his I-won’t-let-you-out-until-you-tell-me-everything pose. How Virgil hated that pose. Mostly because it meant his friend could read him like a fashion magazine. His own words.

The silence stretched as one boy stared unswervingly at the other. Virgil, for his parts, was faking a strong interest for his hot chocolate. He was shifting almost imperceptibly under the skilled hawk eyes. He opened his mouth, not sure what to say.

“Nothing coming close to bullshit will cross your gloomy painted lips.”

“My gloomy painted…?” Virgil repeated in a dubious tone.

“Meaning you swear to speak the truth, and nothing but the truth.”

“We’re not in court-”

“So? What kind of storm is on right now?”

There was no response. The simple fact that this question was posed was a confirmation to the existence of a tumultuous life. It didn’t sit right with him.

“Is it something at school?”

Virgil just sighed.

“Okay. Something at work, then?”

“Could you stop?’”

The situation was becoming irritating.

“Has something happened to your precious roommates?”

Just by the smirk on Remy’s face, Virgil knew he’d give it away somehow.

“Spill gurl! If you don’t, I can call them right about now.”

And Virgil really wanted to punch the triumphant expression on his face right now. He sighed for what seemed like the umpteenth time today. He leaned back into his chair and crossed his arms, ignoring the previous remark on his child behavior.

“It’s just… Patton’s acting weird.”

“Weird? Like that time he tried to adopt a street kitten, brought it home with the hope you guys wouldn’t notice his sudden hay fever excuses? Like that?”

Virgil shifted uncomfortably on his chair.

“No… More like a “me-weird”.” he mumbled, though Remy had no difficulties to catch the unspoken meaning.

As expected, the moment was heavier with a tension none of them wanted to drag out. Nothing from the teasing attitude was left in Remy’s demeanor.

“Speak.”

And Virgil told him. About Patton’s behavior slowly decreasing him to an uncommunicative and withdrawn bundle of limbs. About the poor excuses he kept giving for his hasty departures and late arrivals. About the growing bags under his eyes, the paleness of his face, his hollowed cheeks more and more apparent.  
Remy listened closely, not once looking away from Virgil, his monstrous order left aside. Making ‘hm’ sounds when it was appropriate. He only interrupted his friend once.

“You called Chris?”

Even him knew that didn’t bode well. Virgil nodded and Remy waved for him to continue. It took long laborious minutes until everything was on the table, and some more for the two of them to recover.  
Virgil was nowhere near a solution but he could feel a weight lifted from his shoulders. But it sat right back on his stomach. Usually, Patton was the one coming to Virgil when his sixth sense detected something off going on. That used to annoy Virgil to no end. But with time, he came to secretly enjoy those private friendly moments. And today, he missed them like hell.

“So, no idea why he’s acting like that. And no word from his brother so far.”

Virgil confirmed, nodding. Remy’s face scrunched up in a concentrated look. Chin on a mildly closed fist. The boy seemed to reflect on what he just learned for a moment, when his eyes landed on the emo in front of him. His piercing gaze put Virgil in a slightly uncomfortable position. Frowns met, one determinate, analyzing, the other wary and on guard.

“What were you looking at?”

“Uh?”

“Outside.” he elaborated unnecessarily, they both knew what he was referring to. “You saw something, didn’t you?”

Virgil cursed inwardly. Remy was too good at decrypting him. He could even grasped that something was wrong with Virgil before himself. Mostly Virgil accepted it with a warm welcomed feeling, which his friend would never learn the existence of. However, there were occasions where it was reduced to just a pain in his ass. Like now.

“It’s no-”

“We both know this is going to take as long as it needs. So, either you make a show of being cooperative as of now, or else I find a way to make you. And you know very well what I am capable of.”

Not for the first time this day, Virgil wanted to punch the winning devil smirk on his face, even if this one was more reserved. But his annoyance hardly exceeded the cold shiver toying with his back. The overly caffeinated boy proved to be outright scaring at times.

“It’s just-I-I keep seeing him, okay?!” Virgil sighed loudly.

_”Him?” ___

__And Virgil was startled with the implication of the used tone. Too low, too filled with an unsaid signification._ _

__“No! Not-I meant Patton! I keep seeing Patton.”_ _

__His eyes quickly cast down upon perceiving the shy apologetic look on his friend face. He cleared his throat to alleviate the tension and drank his cup slowly to occupy his mouth. He didn’t need that. Too preoccupied already by his roommate hogging all his mind. If he could just stop thinking about it day and night-actually if all his roommates would cease to-_ _

__“Do they know?”_ _

__Virgil sputtered on his hot chocolate, a few drops hitting his favorite purple shirt. Remy gave him a napkin while Virgil tried to cool down the blood flooding his cheeks._ _

__“Of course not!” he answered after gaining his breathing back._ _

__“No, I mean… Do they _know_?”_ _

__Their eyes met, heavy with shared apprehension. A loud meaning reflecting back and forth between them. Until Virgil broke his gaze, but it wasn’t to run away this time, Remy was sure of it as he identified the haunted look the other was displaying unconsciously. He kept fixing him with a blank face._ _

__“No.” he whispered after a moment. “And I’m not planning on it.”_ _

__Seconds later, Virgil felt a soft grip on his forearm, a silent gesture of comfort. He was quick to change the topic._ _

__“A-anyway! This is just getting to me, and I’m just seeing things!”_ _

__“Things like Patton?” Remy hastily followed him on the subject._ _

__“Only Patton. It’s like he is everywhere I go. I’m just overthinking about it. But that’s just me being me, right? And now I’m going crazy! I know I should stop worrying myself sick- What?”_ _

__The other boy was observing him with a deep frown. But his mind seemed somewhere else._ _

__“When did you see him, exactly?”_ _

__“Uh? Well, this morning with you, yesterday after work, hm...”_ _

__“Did you see him yesterday around noon?”_ _

__“Yeah. How do you…?”_ _

__There was no mistaking the seriousness in Remy’s stance. Nor his squinting eyes directed toward an invisible point behind Virgil’s right shoulder. The emo swallowed the lump in his throat with apprehension. He thought his heart missed a beat when his friend locked eyes with him again._ _

__“I saw him too.”_ _


	6. "It's just a question."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!  
> This one is a little longer than the previous one. Thanks for all your comments and supportive messages.  
> Takes time to check every possible mistakes but it's so worth it when I read your reactions.
> 
> Think I'll post one or two chapters more for this one. I'm not putting the final tags to keep the suspense a little bit more but I'll surely put them next time so I'll give you a heads-up if that's the case.
> 
> In the meantime,  
> Enjoy!

There was never much of anything that could drive Roman into such swirling, debilitating, feelings.  
He had always been the kind of person to seek out the optimistic side of every situation. He was the type  
to live life to the fullest. A trait of character he had inherited from his mothers. The two strongest women he had ever known. The pride he felt being their son carried him through pretty much his whole life, whether during the good, or bad periods. The credo he’d grown up with was to always find a way, to fight -sometimes literally in his case, even if his moms never said it verbatim- dream big and never give up. 

But now, as he listened to the impatient tapping of his pencil on the table, a helpless feeling overwhelmed him. How could he concentrate on anything when his mind was filled with so many alarming thoughts. Okay, well, maybe not so many but the few nested up there gave him the start of an upcoming strong headache. What if something really bad had happened to Patton? Maybe someone was harassing him? Or he could have a fatal disease? Oh God! What if he just had a few days left? 

“Okay, stop.” 

“Huh?” 

He had been only half aware of Valerie sending him curious glares since they started their studying session in the Campus Library. The truth was he kind of forgot about the girl’s presence seated right in front of him. 

“You’ve been acting up for the past few days but today you’re riling up my scale of absolute zen attitude-“ 

“Uh? What zen attitude are you talking abou-“ 

“Shush, I’m talking now. I want to know what’s up so I can go back to these oh so interesting facts about festival statistics.” 

Roman gave her an apologetic smile. That wasn’t a lesson he loved either. But if they were to succeed in the art world, going through the paperwork part couldn’t be helped. 

“So?” she said with an unreadable face. “Is it Virgil?” 

“What? What’s with Virgil?” 

All she did was look at him, with one of the most deadpan expression he has ever received. Like he was meant to grasp the meaning behind it, and he felt like a big idiot when no clue came to him. 

“What?” he repeated a little louder, gaining irritated stares for the high volume of his voice. 

“Okay, not Virgil.” And Roman heard her mumbled “Thought so, anyway.” But he didn’t get to ask as she spoke again. “So maybe it was with Logan or Patton?” 

_With?_

She sighed. “Obviously not. Okay, what’s wrong?”

And Roman was lost again. Should that mean something?

“Stop thinking. Just tell me what’s going on.”

The boy’s eyes narrowed for a few seconds before letting the topic -was there really a topic there?- go. It was his turn to sigh. Clearly, not for the same reason. His fingers took over the tapping from his pen as he put his head on his other hand.

“It’s just… I’m worried about Patton. He’s been acting all weird since Tuesday and… I don’t know what’s bothering him but he’s pretending like everything’s fine in the world when he’s obviously not. And I just- I don’t know what to do!” he grumbled and his head banged on his book with a loud thud, gaining shushing sounds from the students nearby.

They both ignored this. It wasn’t the first time. Wouldn’t be the last.

“So...something’s wrong. You don’t know what. Therefore, you don’t know what to do?” She received a tiny nod from him, his face still flat on the book. “Did you ask him about it?”

Roman snorted. “Of course.”

“No, I mean really ask him. Like take him aside, make him sit, explain to him you know something is happening, or happened and want him to speak so you can help him and that you won’t budge before he does because he’s your friend and you do care about him? You know? Instead of acting like you boys usually do, beating around the bush until a dramatic event occurs and you have some angst moment before hugging it out? Do you realize how much you four look like an actual Korean movie, or a manga? I swear we could make a reality show out of your lives.”

The young man’s brain tried to catch up with all the information and filter it. He kept his head down as he felt his cheeks slightly blush. He did have a tendency to dramatize. It was in his nature. But to compare it to a drama show? Well, to be honest, it would be so cool to live in one of those, even for one day. Children dreams never die! But now this was reality, and his friend needed him.

“We...didn’t really do that.” he admitted between pursed lips and finally raised his head.

“Yeah, figured that much.”

“So, you think I should be frank with him? Barge in, close every exit and force him to speak?”

She looked at him in disbelief, her lips twitching up in an amused smile. “You _do_ come from a manga, don’t you?” she stated, earning a grunted and inaudible reply. “All I’m saying is that you do have a habit of not saying anything until it’s too much for you guys. So, let’s skip this part and act now. If you truly feel like Patton needs help, it’s better if you show him that as soon as possible. So he can rely on you or at least talk about it if that can make him feel better. But the longer you wait, the longer there’s a chance that whatever is going on, and I know from experience with you four that it is likely to happen, will get worse.”

There was a pause and she watched him take it all in. Then he stood and started packing his things up.

“You’re right.” He closed his bag put it on his back.

“You’re going to his school?”

“Yeah. We have two hours free. If I’m fast enough, I can catch him for lunch. I should be back on time, but if I don’t return before next class, could you take notes for me?”

He didn’t see her nod or approving smile as he turned around and promptly walked toward the nearest exit.

******

Finding his way to Patton’s College ended up being the easiest part. Making his way inside turned out to be a healthy walk for the most part. However, finding Patton constituted an obstacle in itself. Now that Roman was within the huge Campus walls, after just a half hour drive from his own, a self-conscious feeling slowed him in his steps. 

He had been so single-minded in facing Patton that, just maybe, he’d forgot to inform the main interested party?

_Great…_

He took out his phone and fumbled with the touch-screen. He got one unread message from Valerie. Curious, he opened it and smiled.

_’Good luck!  
Say hi to Pat’ for me <3’_

Yeah, she might not show it but she always worried for them. A slight sense of guilt swelled up in him but he pushed it back down for now. It was true that through the years, the four of them managed to find themselves in unenviable situations. But Valerie was, among others, one of their dearest friends and sometimes a night and day support. Well, especially for Roman. He was so grateful for her playing a so important part in his life.

He sent a quick reply and searched Patton’s name in the contacts list. He pressed the green phone logo near it and put the device to his ear. He hung up as it hit voice mail right away and tried again. Two times. With same results. Maybe Patton’s phone was switched off? Or the battery was discharged? Damn it. How was he supposed to meet his friend now? His friend who had no idea he was looking for him. The urge to facepalm was so strong right now. Valerie could be right. About him being a character coming straight out of some cartoon. He let his head fall back and exhaled slowly. Okay, so what now?

“Roman?”

He twirled around in surprise to find Maria, one of Patton’s classmate, in front of him with a cheerful and somewhat intrigued smile.

“It’s you, I was right. How are you doing since- don’t remember when that was!” she greeted him with her usual joyous attitude. He mirrored her expression.

“Maria! How’ve you been? Long time, no see. Terrence’s birthday party. Two months- no! Almost three months ago, right?”

“That’s it! You do have a good memory!” she grinned like that fact was making her day and Roman couldn’t not echo her easy happy personality. She truly was a lot like Patton in that way.

She was in her late thirties, according to Logan, even if she looked like no more than thirty. But none of the boys would bring a woman’s age up. Especially this one’s. She was a mom. With a mild-life crisis and a will to take the bull by the horns and live a life with no regrets, full of experiences, full of joy and full of love. She was a real phenomenon. No one could ignore her shining presence every time she entered a room. With her floating and still perfectly black hair, nearly flawless skin and seemingly young smile. No wonder why she got the full interest of a few male students. Or, other outside of school. Roman still remembered one particular funny story involving a high-heeled shoe, a marker, chocolate ice-cream and a miserable looking boy who will never disrespect a woman in his life again.

“Well, it was a memorable party.” he answered, chuckling as his mind flashed with memories of a party with way too much improvised drinking games.

Maria giggled in response but nodded nonetheless.

“So, are you here to collect Patton’s homework? Seems really childish when you put it like that.” she giggled again. “Anyway, how is my sweet tooth? It’s not that fun without him around.” she explained with a little sad smile.

“I’m sorry, what?”

Surely, he didn’t hear that one right. Right?

“Seems like a real big evil kind of flu. I didn’t get any texts from him in three days. I was starting to think something bad happened.”

But all Roman’s brain could muster out of his thoughts was a colossal blank page.

“What?”

Her mildly calm facade broke into one of concerned. “I was...talking about Patton. Ill. In bed since Tuesday. Isn’t that why you’re here?” she asked, giving him a suspicious look.

He tried to answer but found his throat dry and no words coming up. Two pairs of widening eyes met, searching through the other’s for answers.

******

Logan finally was able to exit the large building with no more than just the stabbing sensation of the heel of a shoe walking on his right foot. He sighed once outside. It was a shame to see young adults, graduated from high school, still running like Death was at their -this time figurative- heels. He welcomed the quite nice weather on this time of the year. It was still March, however, many students weren’t wearing winter coats anymore. The slightly fresh air seemed to do wonders on his lungs and mind.

He had received a text from Chris one hour ago, followed by another one minute later. He had read them right away, surprising the students near him by his behavior, contrasting with his typical stern nature. And the content of the message left him with a sour taste in his mouth. Still, you know, figuratively.

_’hey! just to lyk nothing happened with her.  
could be wrong though, but i don’t think so.’_

And the second one.

_’how is he?’_

Despite the small relief provided by this recent knowledge, the answer generated back an ominous question. If no incident arose in the boy’s family, then what could possibly be the reason behind such a puzzling attitude?

He sent what seemed to be an adequate answer, promising a feedback on the current situation when an invitation from Roman for a new chat group popped up on the screen. There were only three members in it. And Logan found that he wasn’t surprised about who they were.

Roman, Virgil, and himself. Not Patton.

Logan already noted the presence of a first message from the spearhead of the chat. Only six words were adorning the blank page.

**’We have to talk about Patton’**

The statement alone implied several quick deductions from Logan’s point of view. None of these overly conceivable assumptions reflected anything close to a pleasant outcome. Something obviously happened for Roman to act in this manner. Without preamble. The meaning was clear, with no frills, and no extravagant typeface. When the young man had demonstrated over and over again his insoluble habit of being dramatic in even the smallest aspect of his life. In itself, such a fact wasn’t boding well. Added up to the rest… 

He hadn’t mentioned it this morning when they had caught Patton trying to sneak out of the house early. Again. But the night before, when he had gone upstairs to give Patton’s phone back, the boy had been standing in front of Virgil’s room door. Doing nothing. At first, Logan hadn’t really thought anything of it. Well that wasn’t exactly true. He already had been racking his brain for a solid explanation, a reassuring one. However, none had come and seconds had passed and Patton had kept standing there. Fixing the door. Perfectly knowing no one had been inside, since they all have been downstairs.  
Finally, after one long minute or so, the blond had sighed loudly and had returned to his room, the door shutting behind him in a quiet click, not noticing his friend at the end of the hallway. That had been...disconcerting, to say the least.  
It had taken Logan a brief moment for him to move and knock on Patton’s door. The boy had opened, retrieved his good back with a thanks, wishing good night and closed the door.  
Only once Logan had been laying in his bed, had he reckoned that maybe he should have said something. But what?  
Sleep hadn’t come easily after that.

Logan didn’t waste any more time in his cogitation.

’I agree. We need to address the issue as soon as possible.’ 

The reply came in a matter of seconds.

**’See you after class? He shouldn’t be home before us’**

’Alright.’ __

__**_’Virgil?’_ ** _ _

__The check sign in the lower right corner indicated their friend’s online status. Also that he had read the conversation. ‘Virgil’ and the typing message bubbles popped up and out a few times. After an entire minute, the emo boy finally responded._ _

__' _See you there_ ’_ _

__

__******_ _

__“Okay! I’m home! I’m home!” Roman shouted, bursting through the door, entering the kitchen in a frenzied hustle of energy._ _

__“Calm down, Roman. Virgil isn’t here yet.” Logan tried to cool his friend already burning with trepidation, but couldn’t quite keep his voice as smooth as he would have liked._ _

__“When is he going to be here?” Roman carried on, movements frantic as he removed his bag, chucking it unceremoniously on the nearest chair, and shrugging off his light red and white coat with jerky hands._ _

__“He should have been here for approximately ten minutes. I am certain he will arrive soon.”_ _

__Logan was trying very hard to keep himself in a lucid and somewhat serene state of mind. To no avail. A half empty cup of herbal tea was dolefully cooling without a care for it on the table. The spectacled boy willed his legs to stay perfectly immobile. A capacity his racing thoughts had dolorously no hold onto. The sight of his roommate nervously chewing on his thumb and checking his watch sent waves of restlessness vibrating around the room. Roman could definitely be placed in the category of people reacting ostentatiously to a stressful situation. However, this was another level. The change subtly manifesting in Logan’s knowing eyes, like crossing an invisible line only a handful were able to distinguish. Logan distantly wondered when reading his friends almost became a second nature for him._ _

__Almost._ _

__“What happened?” he inquired, unable to stop his mind from wandering, and encircled the mug just to keep his hands busy._ _

__Roman looked up from where his eyes were burning holes into the ground. His frown barely concealed behind his disheveled bangs. Jaw clenched in a tight grimace. His amber eyes seemed to pierce the air itself. Like the space between them was filled with so many imperceptible walls, and he could consider each of them with a new reasoning, as if they were all different. As if they were a set of puzzles missing one piece and Logan didn’t know if Roman’s eyes on him really meant he was looking at him at all. But Logan could see the turmoil in the other’s gaze. And his anxiety increased. If Logan was anything near the poet Roman was, he would compare the trembling emotions in those orbs with the furor of a tornado._ _

__The genius watched him opened his mouth to voice out whatever those obscured walls might divulged when Virgil emerged from the hallway but stopping just as he reached the kitchen, attracting both his roommates’ gaze. He threw them wary glances, his eyes lingering on their features as if he was meticulously studying every minuscule detail his eyes could take in to predict what would happen next. He broke the gaze seconds later, clearly uncomfortable with the process and crossed his arms._ _

__“So? You know what’s going on?” he uttered, right to the point._ _

__And the strange floating silent moment was gone._ _

__“Not exactly. But I went to his school at lunchtime. And I came across Maria there.”_ _

__He took a long pause, like he was replaying the scene inside his head. Like he was trying to make sense of it. Logan was looking directly at him while Virgil granted him with only a side glance._ _

__“Patton has been skipping class for the past three days.” he finally pronounced the words, letting out a bomb in the room._ _

__Logan felt his eyebrows rising and eyes widening in astonishment. His thoughts were already deducing, analyzing the new information, attempting to give sense to it before he even recovered from the shock. Was shock the right word? Surely it was close enough as he felt his knuckles tightly wrapped around his cold and nearly forgotten cup. He compelled them to loosen their grip._ _

__“You mean… the _whole_ three days?”_ _

__Virgil’s voice sounded baffled, as it rightfully should be. Yet, there was an inflection there that put Logan out of his pensive daze._ _

__“Yes! Maria asked how he was doing and if he’d bounced back from this nasty flu of his. And, as she got zero news from him, she was getting worried and almost followed me here.”_ _

__There was a story behind the shiver scampering up Roman’s back at the mention of the woman but the genius gaze stayed locked on the latest newcomer._ _

__“Why _whole_?” The question offered him both his roommates’ close attention. Roman’s curious stare and Virgil’s more evasive and cautious one. “Is there a particular reason why you insisted on that word?” Logan felt the need to repeat._ _

__The emo boy stiffened almost imperceptibly. In their experience, the move pointed out to a common reaction from their long time friend in regular anxious inducing moments. Maybe the context was playing a part in the illation his brain was actually making sense of, but that not so subtle backlash still added up to a lot of late night thinking and meticulous data collecting._ _

__“Yeah..” he mumbled, a hand scratching the back of his head, look roving on the furniture of the room, then the boy sighed, looking defeated. “Okay.” he said with a resolute tone, putting his bag on the counter and finding a seat at the table, on Roman’s left, who mirrored him just in front of Logan. “Okay...”_ _

__He didn’t sound so sure anymore. He started rubbing his hands together in a fidgety manner and stared straight ahead, a frown gracing his features as he seemed to consider his next words._ _

__“I saw Patton today. This morning. At my school.” he declaimed, a faint oscillation barely distinguishable in his tone. “And at work yesterday.” he continued before either of them could speak. “And apparently Valerie and Remy saw him too in random places.”_ _

__Roman’s mouth clenched shut. So Valerie was not mistaken then? He hadn’t thought about bringing it up to her, his brain cells hogging on Patton’s weirder demeanor from this morning. This was just getting on his nerves. He huffed, his fingers taking up on the same tapping pattern from his study session a few hours prior. And later again in the afternoon. They seemed to do a lot of that today._ _

__“At the open air movie.” he voiced roughly and Virgil nodded gravely._ _

__“Where and when did Remy see Patton?” Logan asked with too much cool in Roman’s opinion._ _

__“Yesterday at noon. Near his dorm.”_ _

__“So what? Patton wants a switch in career and he’s visiting different schools now?!” Roman’s voice raised along his sentence._ _

__He didn’t really think it could be true, this little outburst was just an outlet for his frustration. Logan answered, nonetheless, indulging him by not pointing it out._ _

__“That is highly improbable. Patton has always shown interest in teaching and taking care of children. Unless unfortunate circumstances bound him to such drastic measures, Patton would never shelved his plans on the matter.”_ _

__“You think his mom could?” Virgil cut in._ _

__“It had nothing to do with his mother.” Logan announced and nodded at their questioning stares. “Christopher informed me earlier. Whatever is troubling Patton has nothing to do with his family.”_ _

__“You’re sure?”_ _

__“Positive.”_ _

__“So what is bugging our little sunny fairy, huh? We can’t wait for him to come to us! Or for the problem to just go away!“_ _

__“Ro, chill a lit-”_ _

__“He doesn’t sleep or eat anymore! Don’t pretend you didn’t notice! And this morning he was just as weird! Trying to leave “ _for school_ ” without anyone noticing it!” his tone was on the edge of lashing out as he emphasized his words with air quotes. _ _

__He was fully standing now, his hands slammed on the table and chair squeaking behind him. His sudden reaction made his friends jump slightly. To Logan’s surprise, after a flicker of something akin to bewilderment on the emo’s face, Virgil only frowned at him, far from unsettled by the Prince boy’s little tantrum._ _

__“You think I’m not worried too? Patton is as much my friend as he is yours.”_ _

__Roman, without a doubt, would have answered a smart response as only he could do, if he hadn’t spotted Virgil’s quivering lips poorly hidden behind nipping teeth. The small action took him aback as much as spotting something he couldn’t define passing briefly in Virgil’s eyes._ _

__“Roman, I can assure you we are taking this matter very seriously. We are all concerned about Patton’s situation. Still, we must remain calm. Patton is presumably going through something stressful. Coming up to him like this will only succeed in aggravating the way he feels and possibly pushing away even further. Plus, we don’t know what this is about. We have to proceed carefully, or he will try to find a way out of conversation once again.”_ _

__The flustered boy plopped down gracelessly on his chair, cheeks flushing in embarrassment and he sighed loudly, put out by his own actions. Of course Logan was completely and utterly right. Didn’t mean he had to like waiting out more for them to form a semblance of a plan._ _

__The truth was, he felt thwarted._ _

__Weren’t they friends? More like best friends? Why wasn’t he talking to them? Why would Patton act all withdrawn with them? Shrinking on himself and looking smaller and smaller when he usually was spreading this special aura of his all over the place with his smile and his puns and his eyes so big he was able to see all the wonders in the world. Even more so when Roman had those bad days everybody had -yeah, Roman as well- and couldn’t find the energy to get out of bed and go on with the day. The invisible ghost of a smile appeared on his lips as he reminisced about bright and melodious wakes up, and breakfasts in bed. Sometimes they would stay in Roman’s room for hours, Logan and Virgil generally joining in the funny aftermath, commenting on the crumbs lost in the bed sheets and falsely complaining about the noise._ _

__Patton was always there for him. For them. Even when they didn’t realize it right away. Like their shadow.._ _

__He took his head between his hands and ruffled his hair, frustrated._ _

__“Sorry,” he grunted quietly.”I’m just worried.”_ _

__“We know.” Virgil nudged him softly in a silent forgiveness._ _

__He peeled his eyes open to see his two roommates observing him with matching understanding smiles and his eyes drifted back to the table, face slightly covered by his hair and still a little hot from earlier._ _

__“So...what do we do?”_ _

__“We will talk to him. This time, we will have to be more convincing.” he heard Logan reply, seriousness replacing every other emotion._ _

__Roman thought back to his conversation with Valerie. About how melodramatic his life tended to become at each turn. Grudgingly, wordlessly, he admitted that the young woman couldn’t be more right._ _

__“When...do you want to do that?” Virgil’s voice sounded uneasy yet resolved._ _

__The spectacled boy kept his eyes straight towards them, look firm and unwavering._ _

__“Tonight.”_ _

__

__******_ _

__Although the great power of determination had sent a real thrill in their chests, waiting patiently seated in the living room, television noises reduced to a dull background signal, definitely threw down their zeal._ _

__Roman was counting for the nineteenth time the variously shaped white tiles of the mosaic paint on the wall when his patience ran out._ _

__“Can’t take it anymore.” he grunted, lifting his body from the armchair he was sprawled on._ _

__“Roman, it’s been ten minutes.” Virgil said, but kept scrolling through posts on Tumblr, completely undaunted by his roommate’s mood swings._ _

__“Seven minutes and forty-two seconds.” Logan added not looking up from the book on his lap._ _

__The emo snorted and gave the genius tranquilly seated on his left a sideways glance. Of course Logan would know the exact time._ _

__“Gonna make a sandwich. Want something?” Roman offered, his voice shooting for casual and failing by a bit._ _

__Virgil felt his stomach twist at the idea of food and shook his head slowly while Logan declined politely. The emo boy watched Roman disappear in the kitchen, but as he was turning back to his phone, his eyes landed on the hall leading to the front door._ _

__“It’s alright. He will be here soon.” Logan said eyes still fixed on the page he was on._ _

__Virgil sent him an unimpressed glance. Logan could claim everything was under control behind a perfectly serene appearance, Virgil didn’t saw him turn a page once in the last ten minutes. However, he knew this pretence at self-control was the boy’s way to keep calm. Calling him out on it wouldn’t do any good._ _

__“I know.” Virgil sighed quietly._ _

__Logan’s eyes drifted upwards, meeting Virgil’s. His stare analyzing, calculating once again without saying anything. The emo felt himself fidget under it, like every time he was on the receiving end of Logan’s piercing gaze. There was an uncomfortable silence between them. Then the genius seemed to come to a conclusion, put his book down and turned halfway to his right to face an anxiously growing Virgil. There was another pause._ _

__“Virgil, did something happened between you and Patton?”_ _

__“What? Why?”_ _

__“It’s just a question.” he explained, his voice even._ _

__Voice even or not, Virgil could say Logan was refraining himself from tutting. The way his jaw tightened at the edge, almost unseen. His hardly noticeable frown above his totally focused eyes. He knew on a certain level that the gesture wouldn’t have been directed at him, yet deep inside, his guts were twisting in discomfort. Logan didn’t look like he was going to elaborate so Virgil answered, uneasy._ _

__“I don’t think so… Why?”_ _

__“Are you certain? On Tuesday? Or Monday evening maybe?” he insisted, with that same unnerving tone that the emo boy used to appreciate until it was used in moments like this._ _

__Something heavy dropped in Virgil’s stomach. He found his throat was dry and he tried to swallow around the sudden weight clogging his trachea. His fingers clutched at his phone and he put it away upon realizing it, unsure of why his body reacted that way._ _

__“Logan, why are you asking me this?” he asked, voice not quite as steady as he would have liked._ _

__Logan looked at him, saying nothing._ _

__The extended silence felt heavier with each passing second. The regular ticking clock hanging on the far wall seemed to make its presence known, heavier than the TV, seeming to broaden Virgil’s every heartbeat._ _

__Why did Logan ask him that?_ _

__The bad feeling twisting his guts since the week had started doubled. Maybe tripled as the intrigued eyes never left his._ _

__******_ _

__

__Roman left them for the fridge instead. Not that he was really hungry but his hands were fidgeting for something to do before he lost whatever self-control he had left. How he hated the waiting part of everything in this world. He almost yanked the fridge door open like it personally offended him. The slightly buzzing light emanating from inside did nothing to lighten his bugging nerves. His eyes roamed over the food, his stomach clearly missing the forced invitation to concentrate on something else than whatever was this weird mess they were facing. Sighing he closed the door, more slowly this time and promptly banged his head on it, hurting his forehead on a sharp-edged magnet. He cursed and rubbed the stinging away. Fierce eyes glared up at the inanimate assailant, burning with a furious desire to fling the damn thing out the window._ _

__He wasn’t going to...not really anyway. But his hand was already reaching for the pink monster shaped magnet. What were people thinking? Putting those kind of potentially dangerous toys in kids cereals? Not that Roman did ever considered himself a kid, well not for still eating those sugary death traps._ _

__As his fingers brushed against its side, his gaze drifted down to the picture under it. That stupid thing was maintaining a photo of the four of them. Patton was on the right side, closer, his left arm out of the image, holding the phone. Roman was behind, his arms wrapped around a confused Logan and a visibly irritated Virgil, but he could tell there was no fire behind that expression. This was the first picture they took in the house they were now living in. They were boxes and disassembled parts of furniture nearly everywhere. That night they had ordered pizzas and slept together on inflatable mattress with no heat on and thin blankets. How Roman’s back had hurt the following day. Logan had caught a cold that lasted an entire week and that had been seriously one of the weirdest week he had ever lived. But the princy boy wouldn’t have changed their first night as roommates for the world. He delicately took it and smiled, remembering bits and pieces of that evening._ _

__Patton was smiling brightly in this picture._ _

__And just like that, his slightly lighter mood dropped back a hundred notches. He put the photograph back on the fridge, and made a beeline for the last cupboard on the right side of the wall. He grabbed the red and green cookies box settled there and teared the lid open only to discover it was empty._ _

__Right. Patton was the one filling it up once or twice a week, depending on their stress inducing exam periods or stress inducing outside events, or stress inducing family meetings, or...well, you get the point._ _

__Dejected, he put the box back in the cupboard and turned around, hastily getting around the central table, and retrieved a huge bag of chips from a lower cabinet before ripping it open. He gulped down two handfuls of the bag, focused on the sounds his teeth were making by chewing loudly on purpose. The taste and noise made him feel a little better. Helped his mind thinking of something else. Even from the nagging consideration that if he wanted to help his friend, the state his nerves were in right now wouldn’t be productive. Well, at least a little bit._ _

___Sweet Julie Andrews, please make the time goes faster!_ _ _

__Before his thoughts could drive him in a brand new loop of depressing rantings, he figured getting back to the two other boys in the next room could turn out to be a good enough distraction. Especially with the fine TV and set of Disney movies in the corner. Maybe he was trying too hard to believe that.._ _

__Turned out, he was at least a little right he thought as he left the kitchen only to stumble upon a somewhat weirdly tension filled scene. If Logan and Virgil playing mirror-mirror without one and frowny faces -well, at least Logan, Virgil having his back toward him- was enough of a faithful description. He paused for a brief moment, a little puzzled and cleared his throat._ _

__“Um… Is this a staring contest tournament?”_ _

__Virgil startled before turning around and giving him the look of a deer caught in the headlights. Roman stared back, an eyebrow raised, not sure what this was all about. However, the glint of surprise in his friend’s eyes gave way to a weird combination between interrogation and concern. He knew the emo boy was eyeing the snack and the look he granted it didn’t sit well with him. Roman stared at him, defiantly, daring him to make a comment._ _

__“What?” he spoke up, his tone purposefully bold._ _

__Virgil sighed but didn’t say anything. They all knew Roman had an ancient issue with food and stress related. But Virgil could recognize a lost fight when he saw one. And this was so not the right time for that. Logan seemed to think the same as he stayed silent. Thankfully. This was getting on everyone’s nerves. His freaking paranoid habits weren’t the only doing their paranoidly thing here. He felt more than saw his two friends tensing in surprise as Virgil suddenly stood up, aiming for the stairs._ _

__“Where are you going?” Roman inquired, voice a little strangled and Virgil’s eyes caught his approaching small steps in his direction._ _

__“Hold your horse mice Cinderella, just gotta grab some orders I’ve gotta work on.” he replied instead of saying he needed something to snare his mind and keep it occupied, and just maybe be alone for a couple of minutes._ _

__He didn’t even get to the half of the stairs when all their phones started ringing and vibrating almost at the same time. Virgil’s laid on the sofa where he left it. But seeing the expressions on his roommates’ faces once they checked them, told him exactly what was going on before anyone uttered a single word._ _

__“What?” he asked anyway._ _

__It’s Logan, who broke the news aloud._ _

__“Patton will be late. He has a study group to attend to.”_ _


End file.
